E-pistolary

This site is a continuation of my online novel-in-email, xo bri xoxo me xoxoxo love you christy. Call it a soap opera in email.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Re: Senorita gets busted by the intern and then gets the intern BUSTED!!!!

From: ledoux67@aol.com
To: ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com; mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Senorita gets busted by the intern and then gets the intern BUSTED!!!!
Date: Thu, 19 Jun 2008 8:53 am


Rita, I take it this is your birthday card. Now, I don't mean to lecture you, but your mother in law really prefers a traditional SNAIL MAIL card, or that having been failed, one of those cheezy e cards.

I guess this'll do though, lmaao.

Hi (it's my birthday) Maura (it's my birthday)... how's things (it's my birthday) in (it's my birthday) Vermont??

Yeah, your mom is here. She's here all right. Yeesh. Rebecca Christine Morone is the guest who will not leave. She is the "best friend" who comes down for "a night or two" and next thing you know, a week later you're running into her coming up the hallway in the middle of the night after she's raided the refrigerator, lmaaao.

She is here today... BUT WE HAVE SERVED NOTICED!!!!!!

No, today's my birthday... we'll boot her out tomorrow.

She's sitting here right next to me. She says "Hi sweetie. How was breakfast?" Everyone loves making breakfast jokes at Maura's expense. And Jake's.

Todd? Christy says it's Todd. Sorry.

Maura, your mom is gonna pee herself laughing. "Where'd you get JAKE??"

Now Becca and Maggie are investigating. GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND FINISH YOUR YOGURT!!!!

Anyway...she and Marty and Maggie came down last weekend (Friday... you see where this is heading, lmaaao) because we got together to plan stuff for our (AGHHHHHHH! SHOOT ME!!) THIRTIETH high school reunion, which we did on Saturday. And one of us (she says ME, I say HER) said it was a shame we didn't plan all that for THIS weekend, seeing as her birthday was yesterday and mine is today (did I mention that, lmaaao) but LAST weekend was the weekend that the bitch-er, CLASSMATE of ours who is organizing things for this one was FLYING IN FROM SEATTLE. What effing sense does that make? We are all trying to figure out how someone who lives in SEATTLE got the job of organizing our reunion??? If this was our 25th, the answer would be "Well, she may be in Seattle... but WE'RE in Pennsylvania. Get it?" But somehow SHE is doing all the heavy lifting.

I used to wonder why our class always does things that way and then wonders why no one shows. But then talking to Danny's class, Tony's class, Rita's class... EVERYONE'S class seems to do things that way. Half assed. Except Brian's dad's class. They always seem to have these huge turnouts... but maybe it's like he said: at that age, half of them are dead, lmaaao. "I guess those of us who are still alive are so happy to still be around that we'll go anyplace" lmaaao.

Anyway... this time, Saturday there were 20 people here, I'd say... we all talked and looked at yearbooks and scrapbooks and old school papers and drank vino and woodchuck cider... did burgers on that effing BODY GRILL that Brian has behind the clubhouse... played music loud. It turned into a big party. So... Christy and family stay the night. Sunday they go down to see Katie, which turns into Monday as well, then Tuesday down to see Marty's family... and then yesterday back to Katie's where she made them a big dinner and cake and two of her brothers and two of her sisters and their families were there (Steve and John and Kathy and Betsy)... then she and they came back up here so we could have MY birthday here all together and they're gonna take off tomorrow morning, not a moment too soon, lmaaao.

We miss you, Maura, and you and Tony too, Rita.

Christy is not sitting here at the moment so I can say what I really think about her lmaaao.

Actually she is back going through my closet looking for something to wear today. HA! As if! I am flattered, but she's gonna look like a circus clown wearing anything that fits ME. She thinks it's still high school when we all could trade. That was 30 years, 30 pounds ago.

Whoa. Actually she just came back out and has a nice blouse that somehow fits her.

(That one was marked for the rescue mission... take it.)

Funny how I always feel like I'm in such great shape until your mom shows up, Maura... damn, I can't wait for her to pack up and head north again, lmaaao.

WE'VE HAD A GREAT TIME. Maura, your grandma made such a great dinner last night (roast beef. Christy said "Mom always makes these meals that make me want to move back home") (maybe THAT'S the plan, lmaaao) and then we came up here and stayed up talking LATE... so that was HER birthday, and now we got up first thing this morning and it's MY birthday. We're all cruising into town to mom and dad's... she made bagels this morning. I guess I'll force one down, lmaaao.

Opened my pretty cards from Brian and Becca.

Funny story about the intern, Rita. GOod thing he didn't find your cashe of stolen office supplies, lmaao.

Anyway we're supposed to be at mom's at 9:30... and it's 8:45 now... so... there are girls to get ready... so... I'm going to SEND.

We all say HI and are going to get going on our day... later guys! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Margo the Birthday Girl!!!



Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Senorita gets busted by the intern and then gets the intern BUSTED!!!!

From: Rita Pressley
To: Margo Pressley ; Maura Kelly
Subject: Senorita gets busted by the intern and then gets the intern BUSTED!!!!
Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2008 8:09 pm

OK... so.... Senorita is back at work at the warehouse... nice to see everyone... low stress so far this week... five hours a day, 9 till 2... get to stop at the market BEFORE I go in and get donuts... then AFTERWARDS stop again for my Faidley's fix... Tuesday took Dannydan in who except for one feeding just the whole time... everyone loved seeing him (who DOESN'T love a baby? Dr. Mengele, of course! But he doesn't WORK for the Orioles. And as usual I digress!)

So... this morning, I stumble across the usual stack of STAFF FREEBIES for the latest giveaway tomorrow night, which is the NICK MARKAKIS BOBBLEHEAD, which is a handsome item for what it is (a cheap plastic figurine of a player with a ginormous elephantiasisized head) but which as usual looks so unlike whatever player it's supposedly depicting, you wonder what the appeal is, but the appeal of course is that they are COLLECTIBLE (or is it COLLECTABLE) and so I figured I'd snag a couple for relatives and friends (that's YOU Margo)... but since I've only been back working there three days, I feel funnier than usual grabbing a handful and scurrying off to my office with them.

SIOo... I go all over the place trying to finnd ANdreaa

--YOU'LL EXCUSE MY TYPOES. I AM TRYING TO EAT ICE CREAM WITH ONE HAND WHILE TYPING WITH THE OTHER.

(Dulce le leche. You have me hooked, Margo.)

--so I can ask permission to take THREE bobbleheads. Can't find her. So... knowing that if I ~~ HAD ~~ found her, the response would have been "Oh, God, Rita, go ahead. Is three enough? Doesn't Tony know anyone at work who'd want one? Take a case."

Well I didn't take a case, but having received, in her mind, tacit permission to go Apeshit Wid Da Bobblehedz, Senorita goes back to the staff stash, rips open a case and as she's standing there Snagging Freebies, she feels like she's being watched...

I look up and it's this KID!!!! With ZITS!!!! He looked like he should've been running the smoothie bar at a cafe, but there he is with his white shirt and his clipon tie and his dockers and he's EYING me. "Can I help you with something?"

I said "No, I can steal these fine without you."

"Steal?"

"Yeah."

Well... HE must've gone back to whomever he's interning for (Percy) and said THERE'S SOME WOMAN OUT HERE STEALING BOBBLEHEADS because after a few minutes I hear some DISCUSSION down the hall and then, five minutes later, there's Percy at my door.

"Sorry, Rita."

"Sorry? For what?"

"That Nate was giving you a hard time about the bobbleheads."

"He wasn't really."

"No, no, it's ok. He's... he's"

PERCY IS STAMMERING! HA-HAH!!!!

"uh uh uh he's our intern from uh from UMBC... just... he uh he he... he didn't KNOW who uh who uh who you were."

And before it could be discussed further, back down the hall Percy went.

I have NO IDEA what Nate said to Percy and what Percy said to Nate. I got out of there before I saw either of them again. They were back, marketing away.

But that was how I met the new intern.

Hope I didn't make the little fella sprout more zits.

Anyhoo... I have your birthday gift now, Margo: a Markakis bobblehead. So don't say I never gave you nothin'.

Are you guys coming down for the game tomorrow or is Christy... uh, ARE Christy and Marty and Maggie still there? It's her birthday too this week, right?

Anyhoo two... I am NOT at the warehouse tomorrow or all weekend... just doing Mon Tues Wed... however, guess what? I am working at the cafe Friday morning!! Really looking forward to that, to seeing everyone again and getting dollar bills tossed at me while people don't say PLEASE and then tossing seven cents in the tip jar for a double mocha latte, not that I'm COMPLAINING, mind you...

Talk later! Maura... how's Todd's apartment hunt going??? Have breakfast lately??

Love you both!

Senorita

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Re2: Ted Kennedy surgery a success

From: Carmen McRae Sanchez (raesancheztralala@yahoo.com)
To: brianpressley14@aol.com
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008 6:19 AM
Re: Re: Ted Kennedy surgery a success

that was fast, what do u live on yr computer lol

i also cant believe u use real words, punctuation etc etc etc. it must take u hrs 2 type 1 of those.

devoid of darkness lol just 1 thing 2 say 2 that, sumpn i could not say in class many times i was tempted, n thats FUCK YOU BALDIE!!!!!! lol

i wish it was devoid of darkness here right now. i am up n want 2 SLEEP IN but noise noise noise got me up, tyler in rm next door workin a breakfast shift n BANGING AROUND as he got ready, banging th bafroom door. one of those LOOK AT ME PITY ME I HAVE 2 GET UP N WORK EARLY dealies u know?? i yelled at him once, DUDE, SOME OF US R TRYIN 2 SLEEP!!!! think he liked me but doesnt now, tuf sheet, lol. let me sleep n i'm a pussycat, if thats what u want. must not be what he wants. wants to perform the drama of the gifted child, act 5: I HAVE 2 TAKE A SHITTY JOB I HATE N GET UP EARLIER THAN I WANT N I WANT EVERYONE AROUND ME 2 KNOW IT N HAVE PITY ON POOR ME!!!!!!!

anyway he was gone long ago, i went back 2 bed n could not sleep, figured why fight it, why shouldnt 4 hrs sleep be enuf 4 any normal person. why not check email???

if he apologizes l8r after his double ill say dude no prob, i just slept on the beach all day, lol.

playing places here a little, with ron gone 2 from whence she came no band (tried 2 get her 2 follow as u know)

i kinder keep my eyes ears heart soul open 4 sympaticoes at parties etc etc but nothing yet, but a little resto downtown has me on their calendar 4 next tues nite, not a showcase evening, tips and playing piano. wanted me 2 wear a cocktail dress, "where am i supposed 2 get 1 of THOSE?" lol. almost lost job at that moment. but want 2 play as u know, so will get 1 sumwheres.

think when they saw me they were preparing 4 th worst but as u say, just play n they shut up. i will play from that NEW REAL BOOK u gave me, love that thing. ordered another from amazon n am waiting 4 it 2 come, hopefully by next tues. i picked FREE SUPERSAVER SHIPPING which is always a mistake if u WANT something fast.

so n e way, yeah, one gig certain which may lead 2 more at same place. thks to u n gettin me in2 jazz. funny i always think of what u said: "u can play this music rae, u just don't think u can." n u were right lol.

n u know someone said go north n get a casino card n play AC but no no no no no way, talk about darkness, yes i want 2 play music 4 a living but AC scary, scary scary. just do not want 2 be there n take that money. might as well be a ho as do that. i just think of where that money's BEEN n where most of its going. brrrrrrr. no.

besides by the time i got a casino card from what i hear, i will be well on the way north, 2 vt or me. leaning twrd maine. Chad? who he? some kid i use 2 know lol. i would NEVER move 2 anyplace 2 be near him n u heard it here first. don't forget it.

i am leaning toward maine for other reasons which i will think of if u give me time lol.

so now subj change. glad yr wifey luvs the cds. i know i don't know her at all, not like i know u n e way, but th lil bit i met her really liked her n see how u 2 fit 2gether. like u 2 have always been that way n hard 2 believe that it hasn't always been that way.

i made another disc 4 her n will send along, have yr snailmail addy right here, maybe that was why i got up, 2 get 2 th p o good n early, beat the 8 am rush, camp out like chad n me did for phish tix in high school.

phish. chad. funny things that just come up when writing a friend. hard 2 believe we were so in2 that in hs but we were, both of us, both of us were really real n in2 that. if we had been doing it w other people we wouldve been doing fake things but we were th ones who did the REAL THINGS 2gether. i would apologize 2 every1 i know now 4 following phish in hs but not him.

not you either funnily enuf.

lol i just went downstairs 2 th donut place 2 get coffee, cute grrrrl at counter, hs kid, has 2 b, sweetie, reminded me of me back then lol.

n e way came back up n grabbed first mug i could grab 4 coffee n its that little gettysburg mug u gave me. n i never really LOOKED at it but it has all th landmarks on it, th copse of trees n eternal light n jenny wade etc etc etc etc (ross's conspicuously absent from mug lol) but then a drawing of lincoln and it doesn't say "lincoln" or "president" or even "cemetary" under his face, it says "four score and seven years ago" lol like that was his name. 2 funny. or am i just giddy tired???

think it is time 2 hit send so that is what i will do. may finish this coffee n go 2 the pancake place n TAUNT TYLER :P :P :P

attached as many mp3s as i could squeeze on here. n sending a real cd or 3 snailmail 4 u n yr wifey n kid.

having fun in the sun wish u were here lol. seriously so great 2 hear from u n write back!!!

carmen mcrae sanchez the first!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Re: Ted Kennedy surgery a success

From: brianpressley14@aol.com
To: raesancheztralala@yahoo.com
Date: Monday, June 2, 2008 8:16 PM
Re: Ted Kennedy surgery a success

RAE SANCHEZ AS I LIVE AND BREATHE!!!!! Ha hahaa... I was just thinking about you this afternoon when I bellied on up to the juice bar for a booster... the place just seemed devoid of, uhhh, darkness, hahaha.

No... I miss you and was wondering how your summer was going... if you'd stayed in Pittsburgh or decided to "run for the chopper at the shore" like you said.

Your email made me laugh out loud (once I ran it through babelfish, haha)... first at your Kennedy joke (when I hear it repeated over the next week, I'll say I heard it from you first) and then at your description of the fly on your Goddam Tuna Salad. I have seen flies the size of hummingbirds, sparrows, but never one the size of a Tufted Titmouse.

It could have been a bat.

Anyway... are you playing places at Cape May?

I AM on Facebook and you can friend me if you like BUT I never go on there. I have a faculty page through the college but never check it, never go on there.

Friend me though. See what good it does you, haha.

Margo says HI and "Kanye and Madonna? New? Where's SHE been? THAT song's been on BECCA'S ipod since before we went up to Vermont." Anyway, yeah, you know what I think of Mo, but actually kinda liked that one... even when we played Becca's ipod in the car and heard Kanye's "Sheeeeet" at the end of it. Don't want to be Da Kine Of Parents who pull tracks like that from their kids' iPods, and it's not like Becca doesn't know That Word anyway... but before I could even blink, Margo said "Did you hear him swear, Becca?" And Becca said "Yeah. I hate when they talk like that. I just like it when they sing." So that was the end of that. No lecture necessary. Phew.

Re your school choices... like I told you, both schools are great for what you want to do. I think Burlington is probably a little more happening than, uh, Orono, Maine, but... it's all down to what you want.

Chad is in Maine, right? Or is he still He Who Shall Remain Nameless??

Margo just came in and offered me Raisinets, and I would be a fool to decline.

Anyway, yeah, thank you, send me that track and any others you can think of that I-she-we might like. We still play those CDs you made us in the car. Margo copied a few of them for her work too. "Tell her I love that 'Hummingbirds' song."

She loves that "Hummingbirds" song, haha.

Great to hear from you... tis hot and humid here, but sans beach. And yet my home is cool and comfortable, even in early June.

Talk later Sanchez... keep in touch... virtual juice appreciated... without you, the booster just lacks boost! :-) Dr P aka Brian

Ted Kennedy surgery a success

From: Carmen McRae Sanchez (raesancheztralala@yahoo.com)
To: brianpressley14@aol.com
Date: Monday, June 2, 2008 5:43 PM
Subject: Ted Kennedy surgery a success

Only thing that will be effected drs say is his ability 2 drive lol.

n how r U dr p???????????????????

n how is the cafe??? miss my JUICES??? O how i miss making the goddam things lol.

YOURS I didnt mind, it was when 18 people would come in at once wanting them at 9:50 right before PAUL came in, rrrrrrrrrrrrr.

hey great track u need to hunt down 4 yr wifey (she loves euro disco right??) "sometimes I" by laura critchley. heard on upop (xm29). NOT on itunes yet, can't seem 2 find download anywhere. had 2 buy the cd single but will rip n email you the mp3 illegally when i get the disc lol. great track.

what do you think of mo's new 1 w kanye??? know how you like mo lol.

feeling good, weird 2 b outta gburg, a shame 2 as another year n they wouldve named the dorm wing after me, lol

nice 2 feel like i have a break, cape may great as ever, still up in the air 4 tha fall, la de da, what else is new??? maine? uvm? in both places but both expensive for a nonres, just need 2 decide decide decide decide decide!!!

hope yr summer is going well, just was thinking of u n missed u, thought i'd say hi n send u a virtual juice.

btw r u on facebook? i'm not it's gay lol but if u r maybe ill friend you. but i didn't say that lol.

there is a FLY THE SIZE OF A TUFTED TITMOUSE BUZZING AROUND MY GODDAM TUNA SALAD!!!!! GAH! KILL!!!! lol

n e way later byeeee

RAE!!!!!