Re3: GOing to vermont
From: ledoux67@aol.com
To: christyswims@yahoo.com
Date: Sun, 6 Apr 2008 10:09 am
Subject: Re: GOIng to vermont
Hi woman! Sometimes seems so EXTRANEOUS to email, given that we talk all the time, but sometimes I just get up and it's a nice quiet Sunday morning and our breakfast plans get skuttled and I don't feel like yakkin' on the phone, so I log in and I write to you. I am in the house alone; Brian is out with Becca doing something in the backyard (I'm looking; they're filling the bird feeders, which should actually be called the SQUIRREL feeders, the little bastards, lmaaao). We were going to meet Mom and Dad for brunch but now Dad has this same cough and cold that everyone's been passing around, and they're just not up for it. So I made us pancakes; we demolished them and now those two are out there and I'm in here.
Now that I'm typing, I'm not even sure what I wanted to type ABOUT.
Maura, mainly, and Marty and Maggie. The three Ms in your life, aside from moi, lmaaao.
You asked me Friday if she'd ever "let on about any of this." Maura has confided in me about a lot of things, and she DID show me the website pics and those pool pics before she showed you, but she never let on that they were taken when she was 15 years old, no, no, no, no, no way. Especially not back that one year you guys lived here and she was one of my counselees. No. Never let on that anything happened with that coach. Never really mentioned much at all about being up there except the infamous "God, mom moves us from one loserville high school to another" comment lmaaao.
And "Just because YOU two went here doesn't make it any better than where I WAS" lmaaao
Her take on it was what you said back then: that she was being moved away from Tom Stewart and "kids I got in trouble with up there." That's what I remember. I didn't press the issue. Almost every time we talked they weren't formal appointments so much as her just popping in my office and saying hi, sitting and talking, opening up to me. Almost like she was feeling me out and seeing if she could confide in me. But she never confided any of all THIS that came out this past week.
It's hard to say looking back now and knowing the whole story, because Maura WAS so troubled back then, and it'd be so so so so easy to say OH! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS! YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT SOMETHING LIKE THAT WAS GOING ON. But really I wasn't thinking abuse at the hands of a coach. I just thought "Weirdo mean asshole of an absentee dad who knows what strings to pull to use Maura to get AT you." So no, she never let on or even mentioned it. But then of course the things that are most troubling, the things you want to hide most and want people to see least, those are the things you DON'T mention.
I'm not surprised that she told Rita, and, no, Rita never told me either. I have heard nothing from Rita about anything Maura's said to her about anything; it's all been "I told Rita" from Maura you know? Meaning that they're tight and they don't chatter to everyone else like you and I do, lmaaao.
Thing you told me that she said that I think explains a lot: "I guess I figured if we moved away, it'd be done and then when we moved back and I beat his teams, I felt like 'fuck you, loser.'" She found ways to deal with it. But it still happened and I'm not surprised it took her this long to come to the realization that it was not HER FAULT. I think all of the things she's done since then have been "about" her taking control of it. You know?
We talked about all this already but I like typing it. When I type it, I re-read it, and when I re-read it, I see how insightful and brilliant I am, lmaaao.
Speaking of my insightful brilliance (or brilliant insight), we now come to the other two Ms, Marty and Maggie. I loved seeing them on Wednesday night and the best thing about it was that you weren't here, lmaaaao. Seriously, I missed you, and it was kind of weird at first to see Maggie without you... but then it also drove home what you always say, about how she is SUCH a daddy's girl. He TAMES her, Christy. Really. Not that she didn't have her three-year-old moments but it's just like when Brian is out with Becca. There's a different dad-daughter dynamic than there is mother-daughter. (I HATE the word "dynamic" lmaaao) Somehow she's more placid with him than with me.
So that was cool, seeing Marty in action as a dad without you, realizing that yeah, he's not just a good dad and husband because he works hard and brings home the bacon and all that, but because he is a good dad and loves Maggie and knows how to handle her.
We talked about all this with him, and that was the main thing that was nice about Wed night: WE TALKED TO MARTY. Not talked AT Marty, or talked AROUND Marty, but conversed WITH him, engaged him, exchanged ideas, got to pick his brain and actually KNOW him. Or at least I did. Brian of course talks to him all the time and they know each other pretty well. But he has always been shy around me and I always feel frustrated about it. But not Wed night.
It took a little pushing, as I told you, but...
Basically what I said was "Marty, Brian and me have been best friends for 40 years. Your wife and me have been best friends for 35 years. Your wife and Brian, I hate to say this, but they have their bond, whatever the hell it is lmaaao that goes back about that far too. I mean those two took the plunge YOUNG, Marty." Which was when the whole "I know, and I always hated him for it" thing came up. A surprising revelation to me, but surprising too that Brian and Marty have talked about it already.
ANyway my upshot was, and he got it: we don't push him to talk or open up or discuss things to "take sides" or "get stuff on him to report to Christy" etc etc but because we all love each other and we're all on the side of getting along and feeling better.
It was fun to try to get him to discuss the sex stuff, Christy. He SQUIRMS lmaaaao. He starts out with that whole "Well, it's private" thing and yeah, it is, but he feels like he's disrespecting YOU by talking about it. And I said "Marty, your wife and I have talked about everything there is to talk about regarding me, you, Brian, Scott Perry, Tom Stewart, Ernie Wise, Ginny Long, Darrell Hampton, Steve Kelly, Tara Longbaugh. Anyone either of us was involved with or might have even thought about being involved with. Sometimes it seems like we don't make a move unless we talk about it first. That's what WE'RE used to." I don't know why he still can't get used to the idea of talking through something to find the answer to it, but I told him that if he thought there was anything that he could tell me about you that would surprise or shock me, I'd pay him twenty five bucks.
And he said "You were involved with Tara Longbaugh?" lmaaao
And of course then that's Brian's prompt to bring up the sleepover. Yeeshus, any time we mention Tara Longbaugh, he HAS TO MENTION THE SLEEPOVER. "Tell Marty what you guys did with the Tickle uh huh huh huh." Pig. I swear, ONE IFFY THING happens at ONE JUNIOR HIGH SLUMBER PARTY and you never hear the end of it, lmaaaao.
I said "ONE MORE TIME, Brian: we had a sleepover, and while we were getting changed Tara and I started having a deodorant fight and she painted around my boobs with Tickle. It was just funny until later when it turned out she was a lesbo and Christy got all freaked out. She was all 'Ewwwww....you think she wanted to paint around MY boobs?'"
And of course your husband's response: "So Chris was AT that slumber party?" lmaaao.
So maybe THAT'S what he was thinking about Friday night. Tickle.
No, what he was thinking was that he loves you and missed you and "It really just blows my mind that she would make that trip. I just feel bad that I couldn't, but Maggie wouldn't have handled it well."
Revelation from Wed night: that he has not smoked weed since Maggie was conceived! "I figured I'd better give that up." Wow. I had no idea. I guess he just naturally looks stoned, lmaaao. And he said you didn't read him the riot act about it; he just decided on his own.
Brian and Becca are back in, so I'm going to hit SEND. This email is pretty much open ended, I guess. We can pick up the thread when we talk. Or not, lmaaaao.
Not sure what we're going to do the rest of the day... Mom was talking about running up 15 to Country Market for flats but that was before they bagged out on brunch. SHE might still want to; I'll have to call and see.
If you leave now, we can meet you around 1, lmaaaao.
Talk to ya later, woman... tell Marty and Maggie HI... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo me!!
To: christyswims@yahoo.com
Date: Sun, 6 Apr 2008 10:09 am
Subject: Re: GOIng to vermont
Hi woman! Sometimes seems so EXTRANEOUS to email, given that we talk all the time, but sometimes I just get up and it's a nice quiet Sunday morning and our breakfast plans get skuttled and I don't feel like yakkin' on the phone, so I log in and I write to you. I am in the house alone; Brian is out with Becca doing something in the backyard (I'm looking; they're filling the bird feeders, which should actually be called the SQUIRREL feeders, the little bastards, lmaaao). We were going to meet Mom and Dad for brunch but now Dad has this same cough and cold that everyone's been passing around, and they're just not up for it. So I made us pancakes; we demolished them and now those two are out there and I'm in here.
Now that I'm typing, I'm not even sure what I wanted to type ABOUT.
Maura, mainly, and Marty and Maggie. The three Ms in your life, aside from moi, lmaaao.
You asked me Friday if she'd ever "let on about any of this." Maura has confided in me about a lot of things, and she DID show me the website pics and those pool pics before she showed you, but she never let on that they were taken when she was 15 years old, no, no, no, no, no way. Especially not back that one year you guys lived here and she was one of my counselees. No. Never let on that anything happened with that coach. Never really mentioned much at all about being up there except the infamous "God, mom moves us from one loserville high school to another" comment lmaaao.
And "Just because YOU two went here doesn't make it any better than where I WAS" lmaaao
Her take on it was what you said back then: that she was being moved away from Tom Stewart and "kids I got in trouble with up there." That's what I remember. I didn't press the issue. Almost every time we talked they weren't formal appointments so much as her just popping in my office and saying hi, sitting and talking, opening up to me. Almost like she was feeling me out and seeing if she could confide in me. But she never confided any of all THIS that came out this past week.
It's hard to say looking back now and knowing the whole story, because Maura WAS so troubled back then, and it'd be so so so so easy to say OH! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS! YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT SOMETHING LIKE THAT WAS GOING ON. But really I wasn't thinking abuse at the hands of a coach. I just thought "Weirdo mean asshole of an absentee dad who knows what strings to pull to use Maura to get AT you." So no, she never let on or even mentioned it. But then of course the things that are most troubling, the things you want to hide most and want people to see least, those are the things you DON'T mention.
I'm not surprised that she told Rita, and, no, Rita never told me either. I have heard nothing from Rita about anything Maura's said to her about anything; it's all been "I told Rita" from Maura you know? Meaning that they're tight and they don't chatter to everyone else like you and I do, lmaaao.
Thing you told me that she said that I think explains a lot: "I guess I figured if we moved away, it'd be done and then when we moved back and I beat his teams, I felt like 'fuck you, loser.'" She found ways to deal with it. But it still happened and I'm not surprised it took her this long to come to the realization that it was not HER FAULT. I think all of the things she's done since then have been "about" her taking control of it. You know?
We talked about all this already but I like typing it. When I type it, I re-read it, and when I re-read it, I see how insightful and brilliant I am, lmaaao.
Speaking of my insightful brilliance (or brilliant insight), we now come to the other two Ms, Marty and Maggie. I loved seeing them on Wednesday night and the best thing about it was that you weren't here, lmaaaao. Seriously, I missed you, and it was kind of weird at first to see Maggie without you... but then it also drove home what you always say, about how she is SUCH a daddy's girl. He TAMES her, Christy. Really. Not that she didn't have her three-year-old moments but it's just like when Brian is out with Becca. There's a different dad-daughter dynamic than there is mother-daughter. (I HATE the word "dynamic" lmaaao) Somehow she's more placid with him than with me.
So that was cool, seeing Marty in action as a dad without you, realizing that yeah, he's not just a good dad and husband because he works hard and brings home the bacon and all that, but because he is a good dad and loves Maggie and knows how to handle her.
We talked about all this with him, and that was the main thing that was nice about Wed night: WE TALKED TO MARTY. Not talked AT Marty, or talked AROUND Marty, but conversed WITH him, engaged him, exchanged ideas, got to pick his brain and actually KNOW him. Or at least I did. Brian of course talks to him all the time and they know each other pretty well. But he has always been shy around me and I always feel frustrated about it. But not Wed night.
It took a little pushing, as I told you, but...
Basically what I said was "Marty, Brian and me have been best friends for 40 years. Your wife and me have been best friends for 35 years. Your wife and Brian, I hate to say this, but they have their bond, whatever the hell it is lmaaao that goes back about that far too. I mean those two took the plunge YOUNG, Marty." Which was when the whole "I know, and I always hated him for it" thing came up. A surprising revelation to me, but surprising too that Brian and Marty have talked about it already.
ANyway my upshot was, and he got it: we don't push him to talk or open up or discuss things to "take sides" or "get stuff on him to report to Christy" etc etc but because we all love each other and we're all on the side of getting along and feeling better.
It was fun to try to get him to discuss the sex stuff, Christy. He SQUIRMS lmaaaao. He starts out with that whole "Well, it's private" thing and yeah, it is, but he feels like he's disrespecting YOU by talking about it. And I said "Marty, your wife and I have talked about everything there is to talk about regarding me, you, Brian, Scott Perry, Tom Stewart, Ernie Wise, Ginny Long, Darrell Hampton, Steve Kelly, Tara Longbaugh. Anyone either of us was involved with or might have even thought about being involved with. Sometimes it seems like we don't make a move unless we talk about it first. That's what WE'RE used to." I don't know why he still can't get used to the idea of talking through something to find the answer to it, but I told him that if he thought there was anything that he could tell me about you that would surprise or shock me, I'd pay him twenty five bucks.
And he said "You were involved with Tara Longbaugh?" lmaaao
And of course then that's Brian's prompt to bring up the sleepover. Yeeshus, any time we mention Tara Longbaugh, he HAS TO MENTION THE SLEEPOVER. "Tell Marty what you guys did with the Tickle uh huh huh huh." Pig. I swear, ONE IFFY THING happens at ONE JUNIOR HIGH SLUMBER PARTY and you never hear the end of it, lmaaaao.
I said "ONE MORE TIME, Brian: we had a sleepover, and while we were getting changed Tara and I started having a deodorant fight and she painted around my boobs with Tickle. It was just funny until later when it turned out she was a lesbo and Christy got all freaked out. She was all 'Ewwwww....you think she wanted to paint around MY boobs?'"
And of course your husband's response: "So Chris was AT that slumber party?" lmaaao.
So maybe THAT'S what he was thinking about Friday night. Tickle.
No, what he was thinking was that he loves you and missed you and "It really just blows my mind that she would make that trip. I just feel bad that I couldn't, but Maggie wouldn't have handled it well."
Revelation from Wed night: that he has not smoked weed since Maggie was conceived! "I figured I'd better give that up." Wow. I had no idea. I guess he just naturally looks stoned, lmaaao. And he said you didn't read him the riot act about it; he just decided on his own.
Brian and Becca are back in, so I'm going to hit SEND. This email is pretty much open ended, I guess. We can pick up the thread when we talk. Or not, lmaaaao.
Not sure what we're going to do the rest of the day... Mom was talking about running up 15 to Country Market for flats but that was before they bagged out on brunch. SHE might still want to; I'll have to call and see.
If you leave now, we can meet you around 1, lmaaaao.
Talk to ya later, woman... tell Marty and Maggie HI... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo me!!
posted by Max | 10:15 AM
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