Re: How did you know??
From: Christine Kelly-Morone (christyswims@yahoo.com)
To: Maura (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:43:58 am EDT
Subject: Re: How do you know??
Hi sweetie, we can talk more about this when I see you tonight but since you said "write back not call" and tell you, I will.
I just never had a good feeling about him. It was a vague feeling that he was up to something, that there was something not right there, just a feeling that he was someone I didn't want you around. It was just a feeling but STRONG, vague only because I couldn't put a finger on what it was but knew it was SOMETHING. Realizing what it MIGHT be came in hindsight when I was working at the Y and I saw him with his students-swim teams and felt like he was just inappropriate, patting girls on the butt occasionally and other borderline inappropriate physical contact, calling them honey baby sweetie etc. A "good coach" if girls swimming well for him, district titles, girls going to states etc is any standard, and a lot of them have gone on to bigger and better things, D1 schools, etc, but still "seeing him in action" just made me feel creepy and felt like it "connected dots" although I still didn't really KNOW anything.
Anyway I was complaining to Margo about him one time that I'd watched him at a practice, him babying and honeying these girls, just seemed wrong, anyway I told Margo about this and she said "He was Maura's coach that one year wasn't he? God it's a good thing you got her away from HIM." And that was when I realized yeah, I didn't want you around him. The vague feeling was strong enough to make me think "Get your daughter away." Not realizing.
Anyway I just didn't like him, couldn't figure it out, figured it was just that he was a lech but he wasn't the only lech I'd ever run into, why did HE rub me the wrong way so much? ANd now I know.
Maura again I am so sorry you went through this. I love you. I am your mom and at that age you were my responsibility and so it's hard for me not to feel like I failed you in some way. I saw signs and I didn't read them right, I should have protected you, I feel so awful about it honey. Love you and feel so sorry that it happened and that it fucked you up.
But you are such a great woman, a great person, so strong and someone I am so proud of. And you are that way in spite of this happening and in some ways as a result. You will be fine, I know that, I love you, I just wish I'd known and DONE something about it back then. I am so so sorry.
And so I need to come up there to be with you because I feel like I wasn't there for you back then, I guess is my answer when you said I really don't have to come up. My answer is I DO and I CAN so I AM.
Marty is going to take personal time this week and stay home with Maggie so it's not a problem. He said he might take her down to his parents for a few days, visit with them.
I'm going to go toss a suitcase together and will call when I leave the house. Should be about 45 minutes.
I will also bring my skis even though it looks like RAIN the next few days.
I love you sweetie!! Love you love you love you my daughter! xoxoxoxoxoxo Mom
To: Maura (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:43:58 am EDT
Subject: Re: How do you know??
Hi sweetie, we can talk more about this when I see you tonight but since you said "write back not call" and tell you, I will.
I just never had a good feeling about him. It was a vague feeling that he was up to something, that there was something not right there, just a feeling that he was someone I didn't want you around. It was just a feeling but STRONG, vague only because I couldn't put a finger on what it was but knew it was SOMETHING. Realizing what it MIGHT be came in hindsight when I was working at the Y and I saw him with his students-swim teams and felt like he was just inappropriate, patting girls on the butt occasionally and other borderline inappropriate physical contact, calling them honey baby sweetie etc. A "good coach" if girls swimming well for him, district titles, girls going to states etc is any standard, and a lot of them have gone on to bigger and better things, D1 schools, etc, but still "seeing him in action" just made me feel creepy and felt like it "connected dots" although I still didn't really KNOW anything.
Anyway I was complaining to Margo about him one time that I'd watched him at a practice, him babying and honeying these girls, just seemed wrong, anyway I told Margo about this and she said "He was Maura's coach that one year wasn't he? God it's a good thing you got her away from HIM." And that was when I realized yeah, I didn't want you around him. The vague feeling was strong enough to make me think "Get your daughter away." Not realizing.
Anyway I just didn't like him, couldn't figure it out, figured it was just that he was a lech but he wasn't the only lech I'd ever run into, why did HE rub me the wrong way so much? ANd now I know.
Maura again I am so sorry you went through this. I love you. I am your mom and at that age you were my responsibility and so it's hard for me not to feel like I failed you in some way. I saw signs and I didn't read them right, I should have protected you, I feel so awful about it honey. Love you and feel so sorry that it happened and that it fucked you up.
But you are such a great woman, a great person, so strong and someone I am so proud of. And you are that way in spite of this happening and in some ways as a result. You will be fine, I know that, I love you, I just wish I'd known and DONE something about it back then. I am so so sorry.
And so I need to come up there to be with you because I feel like I wasn't there for you back then, I guess is my answer when you said I really don't have to come up. My answer is I DO and I CAN so I AM.
Marty is going to take personal time this week and stay home with Maggie so it's not a problem. He said he might take her down to his parents for a few days, visit with them.
I'm going to go toss a suitcase together and will call when I leave the house. Should be about 45 minutes.
I will also bring my skis even though it looks like RAIN the next few days.
I love you sweetie!! Love you love you love you my daughter! xoxoxoxoxoxo Mom
posted by Max | 6:31 AM
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