E-pistolary

This site is a continuation of my online novel-in-email, xo bri xoxo me xoxoxo love you christy. Call it a soap opera in email.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Re: Texting

From: christyswims@yahoo.com
To: brianpressley14@aol.com
Date: Sun, 23 Sep 2007 7:41 am
Subject: Re: Texting

I think I texted a reply to this one already, sweetie, lol.

Good morning Brian! I was going through my in box and deleting messages and I saw this one and even though I know I replied to it one way or another, I think I actually CALLED you, back when the novelty of your phone was still new, anyway, even though I responded already it made me think of you and I thought I'd write you. It is a very very quiet cool morning and I am up alone. Marty got in with the band VERY late last night, actually early morning, I think he slipped into bed around 2 am. Anyway I am not expecting him up any time soon, and right before I got up, Maggie came into the bedroom and wanted to sleep with us, which we really are trying to break her of, but she's a daddy's girl, so she's up there under the covers with him. I anticipate any second now her coming down and saying she couldn't get back to sleep, lol. Mainly I think she just needed to come in and see he was back. You know how that goes.

I was thinking of you yesterday after the game, it was disappointing of course, losing to them AGAIN, and they just looked so ineffective, both sides did and it could have gone either way if that AUSTIN SCOTT hadn't coughed up the ball, I can almost hear your dad's screaming at the tv echoing from the south, lol. And at one point they showed the band and I caught Marty's face and he just looked dour. And I felt that way too.

Anyway I thought of you because it was disappointing and before I had Maggie, when I was galavanting (how often do you read THAT word in an email, lol) around with Marty to EVERY game and EVERY blue band event, it would have really cramped my (our) style for a week, at least till THursday when you could really feel the NEXT one in the air. But what was so great yesterday is that Maggie was there the whole time, we were playing on the floor with her elephants and the lincoln logs (amazing how those big beasts couldn't lift a single beam, lol) and I really didn't have anything for supper so I promised her we'd run to Sheetz and get a couple hot dogs (she likes punching the order into the screen just like you said Becca does) so yes I was watching the game and she was a little too, asking questions, looking for daddy, and it was disappointing when we lost, but it didn't stick. Being with Maggie wouldn't let it. When the game was over she looked at me and said "Is it over?"

"Yeah honey."

"Did we lose?"

"Yeah honey, we lost."

And she was kind of looking at the crowd on the tube. "Well how come they're so happy??"

"Because they won. The ones in the blue and gold won. We're in white. We lost."

"Oh." And she just kind of sat there for a second and then she said "Can we go get hot dogs now?"

It just made me think of you telling me about watching a Steelers game with Becca one time and when the game was over and we'd lost, you said she patted your leg and said "Cheer up, Daddy... it's just TV."

ANyway we just went to get hot dogs and I am so happy that Marty and I had her, among other things being with her when he's gone makes me miss him less, but more than that it just puts it all in perspective. It was just a crummy game (well, as Kath said last night when we talked, it was a GREAT game, we just lost) (I said "WE?? YOU went to Bloomsburg!" lol) you know what I mean. That Maggie and what she needed and being with her put it all in perspective. THat it wasn't important really. SHE is what is important, and I know Marty's feeling the same thing as he's up there sleeping with her, he's said that, "It feels so great to come home to you two."

Anyway being with her fills my mind and my heart and makes things that used to bother me feel less painful. Which is something you said once about Becca too, so that made me think of you too.

Also what made me think of you is this, I don't know if you realized this or not, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the day we met for coffee at Ross's. Remember that? I was so nervous to see you, felt like as soon as I saw you that I was 17 again, it was so weird and disorienting, I'd see you and feel like that kid, that girl again, and then go home to Maura and feel like the MOM again. I just knew that it couldn't happen, that as much as I love you that seeing you was about settling with the past and not moving into the future. And you too.

Anyway yesterday evening all of it, esp being with Maggie and knowing she's Marty's and my daughter, made me realize how I'm glad at the way it turned out, I hope you are too.

And I love you sweetie, just wanted to let you know that. You always are in a special place in my heart.

And I write you and call you so seldom but think of you so often, not think of "you three down there" but YOU. I'm glad we had what we had and I wouldn't trade it away for the world, but like I said, like I've told you and like you've said to me, I'm so happy at the way it turned out.

I hear a door opening in the upstairs hallway so my guess is that Maggie's made it out of the bed and is creeping down the hall, which means she'll probably need potty help here shortly.

So I'm going to hit SEND. Love you Brian and was thinking of you fondly last night and this morning... miss you and see you (YOU and YOU THREE) for the Iowa game.

Why don't you CALL on that phone sometime??? Or text, if you can get your thumbs to work, lol.

Later sweetie! xoxoxoxoxooxo love you christy !!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home