E-pistolary

This site is a continuation of my online novel-in-email, xo bri xoxo me xoxoxo love you christy. Call it a soap opera in email.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Re: Rita Pressley LeDoux wrote on your Wall...

From: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008 12:14 PM
Subject: Re: Rita Pressley LeDoux wrote on your Wall...


Sorry, part of me felt like I just shouldve never put that as my status but I needed to vent somehow and get sympathy!!!! :-) Figured if I put that you'd reply, lol.

It's just this Rita: I KNOW that Todd "comes with the kids" and that there are ways around them being there and all that, ways that we can get together time, etc etc etc all that. What I guess I'm saying is part of me is really feeling kind of weird and scared about Todd, like I LOVE HIM but I DON'T KNOW IF I AM READY TO BE A MARRIED MOM OF TWO KIDS which is what it feels like sometimes when we are together. Makes me feel weird. I don't know, not "old" but like we're skipping over steps or something. I know it sounds selfish but I liked the feeling of him sleeping over at my place when the kids were at his parents down in WRJ.

And sad because when I think about it, it's really not the way things really were you know? He wasn't/isn't a single guy, he's a dad.

Love him so much but that part of the equation makes me feel scared and I don't know why, makes me feel like for as much as I love him I don't want to be with him. But I DO. And it's not like I don't like his kids either, I DO!!! I feel all divided, like it doesn't make sense. I want different things all at once.

Which is why I said people don't get me, but I don't get me either. I'm kind of ungettable right now. It's nobody's fault. Just love.

I am drowsy and was going to take a nap but it is sunny out, as I look out toward Morrisville (kind of northeast) I see spectacular clouds so I think what I am going to do is take my camera and ride out to the notch and take pics. Not working at the resto tonight (Todd is). Think I need to be alone or something.

Hope your afternoon goes well and talk tonight sometime, if not email back when you can! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo love you maura k


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