Pictures
From: Maura Kelly (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: Mom (christyswims@yahoo.com)
Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2008 8:03:18 am EST
Subject: Pictures
Hi mom, here's some digitals I took this am, I had my hasselblad on a tripod but also took along the minolta because I wanted to send pics to everyone now.
Love the way the sky around the mountains look, like someone colored around the peaks with a highlighter. And as usual the colors, the light was changing moment to moment.
I'm feeling a little better, thanks for calling yest. The combo of the wierd letter from Jeannie, the breakup note from Luke, finding out that Todd is attached, all of it just brought me down. Did you ever feel like there's too much happning + that you're not even sure what you think or feel about it, you have something happen, like WIERD BREAKUP LETTERS OR WIERD LETTERS FROM WOMEN WHO YOU POSED NUDE FOR + THE WHOLE TIME THEY WANT YOU TO SLEEP WITH THEM and at first you're like "oh ok, that's no biggie" but then you just feel f'd up for days??? That was how I felt when I came down to see you guys, plus just the whole thing of feeling like I didn't have enough time, etc etc etc.
Sometimes feelings and life are too much to process and I don't know what to make of it, and I am really good at throwing myself into other things (my photography, work etc) to distract myself. But then eventually it all comes to the surface.
Re the Jeannie letter NO WAY am I going to take her up on that and go "meet her for a weekend" (I keep trying to write letters back, I guess starting them out "Are you fn nuts?" isn't the best tact huh??
) BUT the exhibit she mentioned (Lee Miller) sounds really great and I would love to meet YOU and go see it if you want to. I liked our last trip to Philly to the museum, really fun and I love sharing things with you, I miss you and Maggie (and Martydad too!!) so much + I don't know if you could pull an overnight like that but I'd love to do it, it'd be really fun, so let me know!
Just rambling: what bugs me about the Jeannie thing and also Luke is that here were two people I was FRIENDS with, with Luke it went in a whole nother direction and I think I kind of felt it coming, just didn't want to do it myself, but with Jeannie I TRUSTED her and feel like I was taken advantage of.
Thank god I was smart enough to grab all those negs before I left Morgantown. I can be pretty cool under pressure. They're great pics, how wouldnt they be, she had a crush on me. Skeeves me just typing it.
Speaking of skeeving there's a little camera shop up the road from where I live, they have film for the hasselblad which otherwise I would have to drive to Burlington or Montpelier to get. Anyway I was in there to get film, talking to the owner about my camera and the kind of pictures I'm taking, and the whole time there's this guy Paul standing there at the counter, listening. Didn't say a word about modelling or anything like that, but this is a small town + everyone here knows practically everyone else, so no doubt he heard from someone who heard from someone who shouldn't of shot their mouth off that I have done modeling in my past life. (I'm thinking JENNIPHYR, since I like to blame her for everything!!)
Anyway I've seen this guy Paul before in at Jamie's a couple times, he's about your age, maybe a little younger, and he's one of those Vermont guys who isn't really chill but tries to look that way. Like he wants to look like he's in touch with his feminine side so he can get laid??? Anyway the whole time I'm talking to the owner (whose name I still don't know, I have it on a card, wait a minute) (Tim) this guy Paul is lurking at the counter listening and finally when TIM goes back in the back to get me my film Paul goes "So you use a Hassleblad?" and I said yeah, it's a nice camera. Actually it's not that great but I just didn't want to talk, just wanted my film and to get out. Just had a wierd feeling and of course what does PAUL say next? "Yeah, I use a Hasselblad for portrait work. For FIGURE work" and as he said the word FIGURE he kind of glanced down at my boobs, just like a flash but I got the message, and really
!!!!!!
Anyway I just said "I'm done with figure work" and that kind of ended THAT discussion. Got my rolls and just left.
I bet I can guess the kind of FIGURE work he does, "the body as landscape," naked young female bodies without faces. In black and white so it's "art."
At least you could always see my FACE. Ron always said "Don't be afraid to feel what you feel, this is about feeling, I want a FEELING communicated. That comes through your body language and your eyes, your face."
Of course his wife wanted to take it being about FEELING to a whole different level I'm rambling again but it makes me feel better.
I love you mom and glad I can write you these things, I'd write them to Rita but we TALK about them, so now it's your turn.
I'm going to go get a shower and make coffee and then go into the darkroom and see what develops
Tell Maggie Kay sissy loves her and give Martydad a hug for me!! xoxoxoxoxoxo love you maura
To: Mom (christyswims@yahoo.com)
Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2008 8:03:18 am EST
Subject: Pictures
Hi mom, here's some digitals I took this am, I had my hasselblad on a tripod but also took along the minolta because I wanted to send pics to everyone now.
Love the way the sky around the mountains look, like someone colored around the peaks with a highlighter. And as usual the colors, the light was changing moment to moment.
I'm feeling a little better, thanks for calling yest. The combo of the wierd letter from Jeannie, the breakup note from Luke, finding out that Todd is attached, all of it just brought me down. Did you ever feel like there's too much happning + that you're not even sure what you think or feel about it, you have something happen, like WIERD BREAKUP LETTERS OR WIERD LETTERS FROM WOMEN WHO YOU POSED NUDE FOR + THE WHOLE TIME THEY WANT YOU TO SLEEP WITH THEM and at first you're like "oh ok, that's no biggie" but then you just feel f'd up for days??? That was how I felt when I came down to see you guys, plus just the whole thing of feeling like I didn't have enough time, etc etc etc.
Sometimes feelings and life are too much to process and I don't know what to make of it, and I am really good at throwing myself into other things (my photography, work etc) to distract myself. But then eventually it all comes to the surface.
Re the Jeannie letter NO WAY am I going to take her up on that and go "meet her for a weekend" (I keep trying to write letters back, I guess starting them out "Are you fn nuts?" isn't the best tact huh??
) BUT the exhibit she mentioned (Lee Miller) sounds really great and I would love to meet YOU and go see it if you want to. I liked our last trip to Philly to the museum, really fun and I love sharing things with you, I miss you and Maggie (and Martydad too!!) so much + I don't know if you could pull an overnight like that but I'd love to do it, it'd be really fun, so let me know!Just rambling: what bugs me about the Jeannie thing and also Luke is that here were two people I was FRIENDS with, with Luke it went in a whole nother direction and I think I kind of felt it coming, just didn't want to do it myself, but with Jeannie I TRUSTED her and feel like I was taken advantage of.
Thank god I was smart enough to grab all those negs before I left Morgantown. I can be pretty cool under pressure. They're great pics, how wouldnt they be, she had a crush on me. Skeeves me just typing it.
Speaking of skeeving there's a little camera shop up the road from where I live, they have film for the hasselblad which otherwise I would have to drive to Burlington or Montpelier to get. Anyway I was in there to get film, talking to the owner about my camera and the kind of pictures I'm taking, and the whole time there's this guy Paul standing there at the counter, listening. Didn't say a word about modelling or anything like that, but this is a small town + everyone here knows practically everyone else, so no doubt he heard from someone who heard from someone who shouldn't of shot their mouth off that I have done modeling in my past life. (I'm thinking JENNIPHYR, since I like to blame her for everything!!
)Anyway I've seen this guy Paul before in at Jamie's a couple times, he's about your age, maybe a little younger, and he's one of those Vermont guys who isn't really chill but tries to look that way. Like he wants to look like he's in touch with his feminine side so he can get laid??? Anyway the whole time I'm talking to the owner (whose name I still don't know, I have it on a card, wait a minute) (Tim) this guy Paul is lurking at the counter listening and finally when TIM goes back in the back to get me my film Paul goes "So you use a Hassleblad?" and I said yeah, it's a nice camera. Actually it's not that great but I just didn't want to talk, just wanted my film and to get out. Just had a wierd feeling and of course what does PAUL say next? "Yeah, I use a Hasselblad for portrait work. For FIGURE work" and as he said the word FIGURE he kind of glanced down at my boobs, just like a flash but I got the message, and really
!!!!!!Anyway I just said "I'm done with figure work" and that kind of ended THAT discussion. Got my rolls and just left.
I bet I can guess the kind of FIGURE work he does, "the body as landscape," naked young female bodies without faces. In black and white so it's "art."
At least you could always see my FACE. Ron always said "Don't be afraid to feel what you feel, this is about feeling, I want a FEELING communicated. That comes through your body language and your eyes, your face."
Of course his wife wanted to take it being about FEELING to a whole different level
I'm rambling again but it makes me feel better.I love you mom and glad I can write you these things, I'd write them to Rita but we TALK about them, so now it's your turn.
I'm going to go get a shower and make coffee and then go into the darkroom and see what develops
Tell Maggie Kay sissy loves her and give Martydad a hug for me!! xoxoxoxoxoxo love you maura
posted by Max | 5:08 AM
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