E-pistolary

This site is a continuation of my online novel-in-email, xo bri xoxo me xoxoxo love you christy. Call it a soap opera in email.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sunday morning at Venti Schmenti

From: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
To: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Date: Sunday, August 17, 2008 11:13 AM
Subject: Sunday morning at Venti Schmenti

OK, Mauramodel, so here's how Senortia's Sunday has gone so far (and I DO mean "Senortia" ): she gets UP first thing this AM at 5:15 to FIVE voicemail messages since 10 pm last night from you, each one drunker than the last... listens to them and can see how your Sat night progressed.... a quick shower and it's off across the hood to the cafe, where I worked from 6-10.... then Tonybaloney and Dannydan met me here at the end of my shift, with snuck-in bagels from across the street at Sam's... watching Dannydan gnaw the garlic and onions and sesames and salt off the everything... now he is on the floor with Tony, rolling a truck.

We pride ourselves on our family friendy atmosphere here at Cafe Venti Schmenti

Anyhoo... first message from you: clouds, cool... yes, yes, you'll scan and send. You're only about twenty photo forays behind on sending me pics, you do realize. Second... of COURSE Jill booked the resto solid right up to 8:45. She is, after all, a DINGDONG!!!! Third message... this is where things start to look foreboding. "Heavyweight Red???" Is that the actual NAME of the vino or just the EFFECT it has. (Judging from your facebook status as I type this --"crushing sulfite headache"-- I would guess the latter.) Fourth message: ok, a loud WE'RE AT THE SHED! SAY HI, MISSY! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! is always a good sign. But then what's this LAST one... about Darren The Great and facebook and friend requests and all???

Maura Maura Maura... I have wanted to say this for a long time. I admire your artsiness and your boldness... you express and DO things that I (and most people) would just be afraid to do. You're OUT THERE and I like it, admire you for it, even (I hope this doesn't make you feel weird) live a little vicariously through it.

But THIS is what I've been itching to say: I know the friend requests bug you and make you feel weird, but Maura... WHEN YOU POST A PROFILE PICTURE OF YOU BARE NAKED, EVEN FROM THE BACK AND NOT REALLY SHOWING ANYTHING EXCEPT THE TOP OF YOUR BUTT, WEIRD GUYS ARE GONNA CREEP OUT OF THE WOODWORK AND TRY TO FRIEND YOU!!!!

Just like "When you post a profile on Facebook and are a former major league ballgrrrl, guys are going to creep out of the woodwork and try to friend you." That's MY cross to bear.

BRB

Back. Dannydan was crying. Tony took him back to change him. "No, no, keep typing Rita." Awwww, and without a hint of sarcasm, too. I's in yuv!!!

ANyhoo.... the point being, guys will try to friend you... guys you don't know... guys who see your picture and want to SEE MORE. Want to see more, want to chat, want to meet, want to god knows what else?

You DID the thing with the privacy settings. That's good.

Now... on the FRIEND REQUESTS... have you noticed that there is a little button you can click, right next to where it says CONFIRM, that says... uhhhhhh... what is the word on that little button... IGNORE?? Is it IGNORE???

Maura, you don't HAVE to reply or confirm these weirdos requests. You can hit IGNORE and be rid of them forever.

Why haven't you, sweetie???

Are you, perchance, given all that you've been telling me about Todd and "not feeling ready to be a married mom of two" (your words) and not wanting "an instant family" (your words) and "not being sure" (your words) and feeling torn (my words, a paraphrase)... given all that, are you perchance seeking attention online? Seeking dalliances?

Want to keep your options open (even if the only people who are taking you up on it are guys who "like your back")????

Mauramodel, if you don't want to be bothered by these guys, DON'T BE BOTHERED. Click IGNORE. They will never bother you again. But you said you still have them on your friend request screen. How come??

Just makes me wonder how annoyed it really makes you?

Sorry... I am psychoanalyzing, I guess... but as the shrink in my family says, you are what you do. If you are annoyed, then be rid of the requests. Hit IGNORE. Ignore them, Maura, and in this case, they'll go away.

Unless... you really don't WANT to????????

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

OK... Dannydan is about to meltdown. I can see. Tony is not keeping his attention. I need to hit send, log off, and leave NOW!!!!

Want a slightly slobbery everything bagel with all of the stuff nibbled off it??

Annnnnnnnd... there we go! Gotta run! Love you Maura! Bye!
Senorita

so u freinded me

mauramodel [2:44 AM]: hello!
darinthegreat [2:46 AM]: hi!
darinthegreat [2:46 AM]: so u freinded me.
mauramodel [2:46 AM]: yeah!
darinthegreat [2:46 AM]: cool.
darinthegreat [2:46 AM]: i liked ur back!
mauramodel [2:47 AM]: thx!
mauramodel [2:47 AM]: so where r u?
darinthegreat [2:48 AM]: minnesota, near st cloud
darinthegreat [2:48 AM]: u?
mauramodel [2:48 AM]: vermont
darinthegreat [2:48 AM]: i really liked yr pic
mauramodel [2:49 AM]: i know! u said! :P
darinthegreat [2:49 AM]: no its really hott
darinthegreat [2:49 AM]: is that u in the pic?
mauramodel [2:49 AM]: yeah! who else?
darinthegreat [2:49 AM]: well u know could be sum1 else
mauramodel [2:49 AM]: no its me.
darinthegreat [2:49 AM]: who took it?
darinthegreat [2:50 AM]: self shot?
mauramodel [2:50 AM]: lol no, that would be 2 much work
mauramodel [2:50 AM]: no a photog in wv took, i used 2 model 4 him
darinthegreat [2:50 AM]: do u have more?
mauramodel [2:50 AM]: lots
mauramodel [2:51 AM]: i'm a model, did that about 2 yrs
mauramodel [2:51 AM]: mainly artsy stuff
darinthegreat [2:51 AM]: mainly but some other?
mauramodel [2:52 AM]: some other yeah ;-)
darinthegreat [2:52 AM]: r they online?
mauramodel [2:52 AM]: a few but most not, not anymore
darinthegreat [2:52 AM]: r there more like that one but from front?
mauramodel [2:53 AM]: lol.
darinthegreat [2:53 AM]: seriuos are there?
mauramodel [2:54 AM]: go to aperture.com and search ron snyder, he was the photog
darinthegreat [2:55 AM]: why not just send me sum?
mauramodel [2:55 AM]: damn slow down!
mauramodel [2:55 AM]: dont u wanna buy me a drink first??
darinthegreat [2:56 AM]: lol
darinthegreat [2:56 AM]: sorry
darinthegreat [2:56 AM]: just liked yr pic
mauramodel [2:57 AM]: iknow, you said
darinthegreat [2:57 AM]: so what r u wearing now?
darinthegreat [2:58 AM]: r u like u were in the pic?
darinthegreat [2:59 AM]: hello?
mauramodel [2:59 AM]: brb
darinthegreat [3:02 AM]: u still there?

mauramodel signed off at 3:03 AM

Knock knock



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Saturday, August 16, 2008

Re: Rita Pressley LeDoux wrote on your Wall...

From: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008 12:14 PM
Subject: Re: Rita Pressley LeDoux wrote on your Wall...


Sorry, part of me felt like I just shouldve never put that as my status but I needed to vent somehow and get sympathy!!!! :-) Figured if I put that you'd reply, lol.

It's just this Rita: I KNOW that Todd "comes with the kids" and that there are ways around them being there and all that, ways that we can get together time, etc etc etc all that. What I guess I'm saying is part of me is really feeling kind of weird and scared about Todd, like I LOVE HIM but I DON'T KNOW IF I AM READY TO BE A MARRIED MOM OF TWO KIDS which is what it feels like sometimes when we are together. Makes me feel weird. I don't know, not "old" but like we're skipping over steps or something. I know it sounds selfish but I liked the feeling of him sleeping over at my place when the kids were at his parents down in WRJ.

And sad because when I think about it, it's really not the way things really were you know? He wasn't/isn't a single guy, he's a dad.

Love him so much but that part of the equation makes me feel scared and I don't know why, makes me feel like for as much as I love him I don't want to be with him. But I DO. And it's not like I don't like his kids either, I DO!!! I feel all divided, like it doesn't make sense. I want different things all at once.

Which is why I said people don't get me, but I don't get me either. I'm kind of ungettable right now. It's nobody's fault. Just love.

I am drowsy and was going to take a nap but it is sunny out, as I look out toward Morrisville (kind of northeast) I see spectacular clouds so I think what I am going to do is take my camera and ride out to the notch and take pics. Not working at the resto tonight (Todd is). Think I need to be alone or something.

Hope your afternoon goes well and talk tonight sometime, if not email back when you can! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo love you maura k


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Rita Pressley LeDoux wrote on your Wall...

From: "Facebook" (wallmaster+kabrkg2x@facebookmail.com)
To: "Maura Ann Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008 12:00 PM
Subject: Rita Pressley LeDoux wrote on your Wall...


Rita wrote on your Wall:

"Awwwwww whatsamatter???? What don't we GET, Mauramodel????
xo Senorita"

To see your Wall or to write on Rita's Wall, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?profile.php&id=1231110358#wall

Thanks,
The Facebook Team


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Thursday, August 14, 2008

Re2: howdy dr p

From: "Carmen McRae Sanchez" (raesancheztralala@yahoo.com)
To: "Brian Pressley" (brianpressley14@aol.com)
Date: Thursday, August 14, 2008 9:42 am
Subject: Re: re: howdy dr p

ok dr p, well every time we talk or u send me a msg, there is 1 THING u say that gets me thinkin n realizin... n this time that 1 thing was n i quoth:

When I started out, incidentally, my answer was I DON'T KNOW! I AM DOING THIS TO FIND OUT!!!

this
shit! how do i turn the itals off??? im hittin the slanty i button n still its on.
ok, good, i didnt want this 2 b an email ABOUT email, i have ISSUES to discuss n the sun's up, its gettin hot out, i play at the restaurant 2nite.

I AM A BUSY IMPORTANT PERSON AND MY TIME IS VALUABLE!!!!!!!!! goddammit haha

ne way THIS (or THAT) what u said is exactly how i feel.................

i do NOT know what i want, what "direction i wanna go," what "i wanna do with it." mainly just wanna go deeper in2 it n find out. bcuz what i've done (take a few classes, take lessons, play gigs) aint enough. its fun but its not enough, it just makes me wanna do MORE. makes me wanna delve in2 it n SEE WHAT the direction is.

i feel like theres some way i need 2 go that i haven't seen yet.

long ago figured out that whatever i wanted 2 do, fucking around playing gigs in smelly clubs or even sanitized clean tourist restaurants wasnt it, or wasnt ALL of it. its SOME of it. teaching is SOME of it. composition is SOME of it.

i havent put the pieces together. want to explore it n see what the pieces ARE.

and its like u n yr wifey say: it aint trade school. part of doing school IS to find out what u wanna do. one reason y i took 6 yrs 2 get a degree that shouldve taken me 4.

or 3 since i am a genius haha.

so just that little thing u wrote made me realize..... i felt kinda funny about it, hesitant 2 take th next step n go this fall like i really want 2 bcuz part of me doesnt know where 2 begin.

but yr saying there's nothing wrong w goin into it not knowing.

still think im goin 2 take the fall off, its been a long 6 years n i wanna have more of a vaca.

plus th chad factor, yes i admit, this is a factor. love th asshole n would love 2 be closer 2 him even if we r "just friends." just dont know if i wanna move 2 fucking MAINE. would be easier if he'd move down again so i could go 2 peabody or temple or someplace like that. miss palling around w him.

he'll learn.

but no contact recently, no. keep thinkin hell (hell, haha, theres a great one, i mean he will) send me an email or facebook me but no. n i dont wanna be th 1 2 contact him. n hes prob up there thinkin 'i dont wanna be th 1 2 contact her.' so no idea what hes up2 .

have his snail addy n will maybe send him a postcard.

or maybe not.

so part of th decision is a kind of WAIT AND SEE w him. im not much of a wait n see person, im more of a MAKE IT HAPPEN person. but got tired of slapping him around. n then of course when i really NEEDED him he tra la la'd off.

so n e way....

love th offer 2 come sleep over camp out whatever, labor day it will NOT be happening but maybe th week AFTER labor day, once "the offseason" has started n before im really NEEDED where im gonna be working. i of course am caretaker n so have 2 stay on during th week but on weekends theyll b here so............

its fucking 9:41 n im indoors. no more of this!!!!!

thx for yr email, it made me think n realize n feel better about feeling stuck, which i realize im not as much as i thought i was!!!!!

so over and out for now.... this is CARMEN MCRAE SANCHEZ about to go out into the bright sunny cape may day.........................................


Re: Thanks mom!

From: "Christine Kelly-Morone" (christyswims@yahoo.com)
To: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Date: Thursday, August 14, 2008 7:17 AM
Subject: Re: Thanks mom!

HI sweetie, I loved talking to you, loved having the phone ring in the car and see it was you, of course first thought when it rings that early is that there's some kind of an emergency but I know you know I'm just up now. This is my ME time, Marty's not up yet, Maggie's either not up or she's up looking at books or playing in her room. After 8 or so is when the shit hits the fan, so yeah, 4:30-8 is the time to call.

I always want to talk to you sweetie so never hesitate.

So as for you and Todd, I know that you guys need privacy to discuss adult things, finances, etc, lol, yeah, that's tricky.

Honey let me give you a different perspective. How did YOU feel when I was seeing Marty (or Brian for that matter those few months we were back in Gettysburg??)?? This will give you a clue to how to act, what to do around TOdd's kids, what THEY might be feeling. That's the answer to "You must've run into something like that." Of course I did but I was the one with the family, Marty was the one who was used to his independence and coming INTO the instant famly as you put it. I know he felt a little awkward, wanted you to like him etc etc.

The privacy thing, well, I can't speak to that, since as you know when Marty and I got married I was still a virgin on our wedding night lol.

Seriously I get exactly what you're saying sweetie. You are used to seeing Todd, being with Todd in a certain way, you want to enjoy that part of him and you two together WITHOUT kids. But honey it's not going to happen, he is a dad, he comes with the kids, he cares for them deeply and puts them first, and part of what you love about him after all IS that he is a dad, just as the part of him that is a dad loves the part of you that is fiercely independent.

Sounds to me like the way you described it that the physical space (their rooms on the upstairs floor, his room down on the second) makes privacy easier. At least if you two are together you do not have to worry about them hearing you move around through the wall or the ceiling if you know what I mean. But yeah it's not YOUR space and you can't drift around naked from room to room with your coffee, the kids are there and you have to deal with them, as you will have to deal with them if you two decide to take it further.

They LIKE you right? And you like them?

Sounds to me like you just want to have sleepovers at your place. In which case I say make it easier for Todd, if you want to have him over then find a sitter and pay for the sitter. But even withut doing that you can find ways around this. They have just moved to town so probably do not have friends there yet they can do things with. Dropping them at the library or at a movie or stuff will give you guys a couple hours. Come on Maura, you remember all the "activities" you had going, friends you did things with at night etc etc. You think Marty and I were sitting reading the bible while you were out?? These are little windows that will give you opportunities for togetherness even if the only togetherness you get is sitting and having a cup of coffee or watching tv etc, doing something where you are you two and not FOUR.

Keep in mind too that SCHOOL STARTS in less than three weeks, they will be there during the day. That means you and Todd will have your days free. He can come over to your place in the morning and you discuss finances and adult things till you're blue in the face, lol. School years have a different feel and flow to them than summer days do. As much as I am sad that Maggie is going off to pre-K half days this year, there's also a part of me that is singing Handel because that will give me four hours every morning where I will have the house to myself, will be able to get stuff done, catch up on things, work a couple mornings at the Y, and THEN when she comes home it will be all the more sweet.

With Todd's kids (still love his son's name, Neil Young) a lot of it right now is that they are new to town and living in what sounds like kind of a remote area, so Todd has to be involved with them, plus like I said it's their summer vacation but more than that it's a NEW HOME for them and they need him to feel safe, grounded, etc.

Probably need YOU too, like I said think about how you felt when I started seeing Marty. How did you feel about moving up here from Gettysburg (a year after we'd moved down THERE from State College?), how did you feel about me seeing this man, how did you feel about him? Did you want him to like you, did you like that I loved him and that he loved me, were you happy for me, jealous, angry, etc etc? Think about those things, remember how they felt to you, and that will give you a key to how they feel and how to handle all these things.

I don't think you're being whiny or selfish WANTING privacy and to be with him "without the kids." You had that and you miss it. And now that they're there, you're just going to have to take it when you can get it, find ways.

Best advice as Margo Pressley would put it would be to JUST FLOW WITH IT. Flow with it and love him and love them, BE PATIENT and realize that as their new lives in their new home unfold and they start meeting other kids and doing other things, stuff will happen.

And be glad he lives in a place where the kids rooms are on one floor and you two are on another, lol. Remember that place we had around the corner from our house now? Your room right outside mine and connected actually by the bathroom? That was a logistical nightmare when Marty would come over. And we just learned to "talk quietly."

I get what you're saying though, you want him to be over there with you. Be patient and find ways to make it happen, sweetie, it will.

Marty is up and now downstairs asking me why there's no coffee. Why it's around the corner at unimart, lol.

Difference between summer and band-football season: in summer, it's "Chris, you want some coffee?" In fall it's "Chris, where's the coffee?"

I probably should have started it but I wanted a cup of tea. He doesn't have to leave the house for another hour, he can get it going. Then I can ask HIM where it is.

I'm going to log off and go discuss adult things with my husband lol. Love talking to you sweetie, I'm glad you feel like you can talk to me, I miss you, so great to hear your voice and more than that to feel like I can help you through things, at least I hope I do.

Thinking of you and chat later I hope! xoxoxoxoxoxo love you mom

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Todd and etc etc etc

From: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
Date: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 5:49 AM
Subject: Todd and etc etc etc


Hi Rita. Just talked to MOM, I was up at 4 working on some prints, knew she'd be up and in the car at around 4:45 running to the pool to do her swim, so called her and we chatted a little bit.

BRB

OK, I was going to type you a long email about all this but TODD just called, wanted to know if I wanted to "sneak out and have an early breakfast." I am wondering if that means breakfast or BREAKFAST??? Anyway he's coming over, going to meet me at 6, I guess the kids are in bed. So I will just paste in what I wrote mom. We can talk later. Got some prints done and don't know if he means ACTUAL breakfast but if he does, that's good because I am hungry, if he means "breakfast" then that is good too because then I will be HUNGRIER

So talk later, I'm out!

OH! Did Tony start football practices yet? I saw an article on the front of the paper the other day, they've already started up here. Thought of him. Tell him hi, kiss Dannydan for me. xoxoxoxoxoxo love you maura k


Thanks mom!

From: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: christyswims@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 5:43 AM
Subject: Thanks mom!

I knew you'd be in the car!!!! Yeah, I was up working, just did a couple prints, some cloud pictures I took last week. Went a couple days ago up to Burlington and bought paper and some chemicals I needed and now feel like I can print print print print print again. But wanted to call, just feel a little bad like I said about how things are shaking out since TOdd moved. We spend time together but it's not like it's him and me alone, the kids are a much bigger factor. When he was down in WRJ his parents watched them and he stayed with me, we'd have alone time. Now it's trickier, he can't come over to MY place and stay unless he has a sitter for them, and as I type this part of me can't believe I'm telling you this. WOuld you have told your mom this? But I don't feel funny telling you these things, I know you care and I know you just want me to be happy.

So it's hard to get any privacy with him and I was NOT counting on the kids being such a big part of the mix. And don't get me wrong, I like Neil and Nikki, they're sweethearts, they love me and we all get along. But if I go over there I know that they're going to be there and it makes certain situations a little awkward if you know what I mean. I'm starting to feel weird about it around them you know??

Love Todd and do not want to feel like his kids get in the way, he comes with them so if I am going to be with him, I am going to be with them. Which of course brings up a question I push from my mind as soon as it comes up, do I WANT to be with him or not? Answer is that I want to be with HIM but not sure I want an instant family you know???

So how does that work?? You must've run into something like that.

Anyway I'm glad we talked and I'm sorry if I made you late for your swim. I know how I get (got) when I swam, wanted to be there right at 5 when the pool opened and snag my favorite lane (sounds stupid but I don't like swimming against a wall), get my laps done before everyone came in so I could be OUT of there as they were stumbling in in a trance before work.

So I'm glad you took a few minutes and talked to me and I hope we talk more later.

Saw your facebook status and had to put on mine that I haven't even been watching the olympics, first of all no tv here, well I have a tv but the ONE station I get doesn't get the olympics, but also just am out of touch with stuff like that. But can't believe I'm not really even interested or curious. Todd had it on and the four of us (see??) were watching it the other day but it might as well have been an old movie. Gymnastics, yeah, they're in great shape, but I was just killing time. Would rather have been out DOING something.

Anyway, talk later. I love you mom. Thanks for chatting and give Maggie a kiss and Marty a hug for me! xoxoxoxoxo maura

Re: howdy dr p

From: "brianpressley14@aol.com" (brianpressley14@aol.com)
To: raesancheztralala@yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, August 12, 2008 8:29 PM
Subject: Re: howdy dr p


Hey my one and only!!! It must be late October because I'm writing you back, haha.

Sorry we weren't home but late July-early August is our time up at Margo's parents' cottage. It is the perfect setting, the perfect place for decompressing... for swimming in fresh water and boating and stargazing and midnight swims and sitting on the porch watching the sunset and drinking Canadian beer (my favorite: Unibroue, I think it's called... let's do a google and see... yeah, that's it... try and find some Blanche de Chambly, which I cannot pronounce, and which of course Wifey just lets me butcher and LAUGHS at me instead of saying "No, sweetie, it's blahsnh-deh-shahm-blee," which is what the Unibroue website says, and why IT can help me with my French and my wife CAN'T, the world will never know, except to add that Margo's MOM does the same thing to her DAD, her meaning MARGO and not Margo's MOM, or in other words Mrs. LeDoux does the same thing to Mr. LeDoux, which is: just let him butcher the francais and then laugh at him.

But I digress.)

Anyway, now that I'm on facebook, I don't find it any more useful than the pages I have at the college, which is to say I don't find any advantage to it over email, and I CERTAINLY don't find it "addictive," don't see what people find addictive about it... it IS kind of cool to see little blurbs about what everyone's up to... kind of.

But I like my contact to be a little more substantive than that.

Which leads me to your visit when we weren't home... I'm sorry we weren't here. If you need to talk, call my cell... now that I'm back in the states and not out of range (no roaming charges in Canada on my pay as you go phone; just no service!) I can talk. If I don't pick up, leave a message and let me know when's a good time to call you back. You know me; I don't always pick up, but I always call back.

I can see why you are staying on at the beach through the fall. I did the same thing after my senior year... did I tell you that? Except my beach was Ocean City NJ. Sounds like a good gig. Can't wait to hear more.

Now....you're not thrilled with your options... what are those options at the moment? Maine, right? Southern Maine? To be near Chad. (Admit it.) (Have you heard from Stu Sutton lately?)

Where else? Temple... runs in my mind you told me Temple. I know Ray McClure there... he'd talk to you.

Where else??

I guess the biggy though is: which direction do you want to take this, Rae, is what I'm wondering? Jazz studies? Music ed? Music therapy perhaps? What are you thinking of doing with it once you get out? AGGGGHHHH! I hate that question. But think about it and answer it honestly. I'm not trying to push you to give a practical answer ("I'm going to get my Doctorate and get a cushy university job and get tenure and stay there with benefits forever and ever and ever")... I'm just trying to get you to visualize where you see yourself with it in five years, ten years, twenty years? What do you want to do with music?

When I started out, incidentally, my answer was I DON'T KNOW! I AM DOING THIS TO FIND OUT!!! Which drove my mom and dad nuts. But from the little I know you, I'm guessing that this isn't factoring into your decision, is it?

Listen: I know you probably have to work Labor Day weekend and all, but if you want to cruise to Gettysburg again and stay the night here with us, you're welcome to. If it's still kind of warm out, camping out with Becca in the clubhouse is fun (she said "Tell Rae there are no bats out there anymore!" I hate to tell her this, but I can't guarantee that...) and of course we have a guest room too. Then we could all talk this over. Talking to Margo might help too. I mean, she does get PAID for this sort of thing (albeit helping high school students... but she knows schools and also is good at picking peoples' brains and getting them to think things over in ways they didn't before.

Think about it, Sanchez.

In any case, I'm sending you positive vibes for CLARITY and again CALL CALL CALL and if you want, visit and we'll chew it over in person.

Hard to believe it is just 8:22 and I'm ready for bed, but... it's 8:22 and I'm ready for bed.

I think I know the place in Cape May of which you speak, where you can see the tide through the floorboards. Or am I thinking of a place in Ocean City (Bob's Grill? Or Taylor Pork Roll? Or Mack and Manco? I'm getting myself confused in my tiredness...).

Just occurred to me: are you sure you wanna stay there through the fall??? Or are you perchance delaying something?

THat's all out of me.
I'm gonna log off this here computer. Hope we can talk soon and I can help you work this through. Take it easy and keep in touch, here or there or on the phone or something... and I'm serious about the invite. Think it over.

Later Sanchez! :-) Brian, aka Dr P


Last night here

From: "ledoux67@aol.com" (ledoux67@aol.com)
To: christyswims@yahoo.com
Date: Sunday, August 10, 2008 9:50 PM
Subject: Last night here

She would NOT go to bed, Christy... hence the bodyslam, as mentioned on facebook, lmaao. We were laughing the whole time but I slammed her onto the mattress and said GO TO SLEEP NOW!!!!!!!!!

She doesn't wanna go hommmmme.... I mean, I don't want to leave either, but tomorrow at 7 am we wanna be on the road, heading south... and if she doesn't sleep tonight, she'll... uhhh... sleep in the car...

Be right back, lmaaaao.

No, it's been a full busy day... she's asleep and I'm about to join her. We are heading south tomorrow AWAY FROM THE RAIN!!! Never glad to leave opinicon but the last week was brutal rainy... and the worst thing was, it was rainy days punctuated by nice warm bright clear blue days, where you'd feel like WOO HOO! SWIMMING! but the rain water made the lake ICE COLD!!!!!

Of course, being used to that refrigerated pond also known as Laurel Lake, Becca was in the drink every day... I think if we'd let her go down in the rain, she would of done that. But there was also lightning, which doesn't bode well.

So the last two weeks were fun, but damn! Too... much... f...n... rain!

And going back of course means we are getting closer to the start of school. I have this week and two days next week and then it's back into the air conditioned warehouse we call the high school for inservice... then before we know it, the kids will be back.

WHy does it feel like we hardly had a summer??

Of course, I've been saying that since kindergarten, lmaaao.

Christy... I am TIRED but since tomorrow we will be on the road early and I know you get up and check your email early, I figured I'd fire one off to you before I hit the sack. Then we can yammer when we cross into the states... we want to leave at 7, but if I know us, seven will turn to eight then nine, and we'll be hitting the road after yunch, lmaaao.

Yawwwwwn... nighty nighty night... xoxoxoxoxo me!!

howdy dr p

From: Carmen McRae Sanchez (raesancheztralala@yahoo.com)
To: brianpressley14@aol.com
Date: Saturday, August 9, 2008 7:42 PM
Subject: howdy dr p

i would b willing 2 put $ down on when u read this, let alone respond. my guess=oct 28 lol.

tis i carmen mcrae sanchez, not working on a sat nite so i spread th joy 2 u.

so CANADA. yr in canada! guess that was why when i stalked u earlier this week u were not home lol. see i called n left msg at yr home, tried yr cell n got a weird message ('th user of this number is currently out of range' WHERE in th fuck is out of range ne more thought i? well where u r, in canada. NE way...) but remembered u n yr wifey said jest stop in if yr in the neighborhood, figured id just pop by n if u were not home leave a note, which i did. but i could tell as soon as i pulled in yr driveway u were not at home n prob not just at th lake or out 4 groceries, on vaca.

ne way then pop online 2 email u n a msg from yr wifey telling me 2 check out her facebook acct, but i cannot get in2 my facebook acct becuz FUCKING GETTYSBURG COLLEGE CLOSED MY FUCKING ACCOUNT DUE TO FUCKING INACTIVITY is that a conundrum or an oxymoron??? fucking facebook is ABOUT inactivity lol.

ne way went online n created a new account n again a message came up, margo pressley wants 2 add u as a friend. that was right magnanimous of her lol.

so we are friends n i need to build my friend list up from zero. so friend me. i so need friends lol.

th news here is that i am staying on thru jan. or dec n e way. found a bed n brek that needs help 4 fall after labor day, open sept oct and then in nov dec closed so they need an onsite caretaker.

free housing plus salary. not bad.

i basically provide a body inna house during th week in offseason n then help out during weekends.

BIG PIANO and a pump organ which will be rockin during the week!!!!!

love it here n it will give me a couple months 2 figure out th next move, not happy w my options as we discussed.

damn was really hoping u would be home when i came back, wanted 2 c u in person n talk 2 u about this all, get some face time. we will need 2 talk on phone so get ready.

i need icecream, ran on th beach this morning n have been hungry ever since, may go to that little grill on the boards, u sit in yr seat n can look down thru the slats at the tide coming in underneath. love it love it here.

call when u get back 2 th states or email me, friend me, sumpn.

i remain yr one n only..............

CARMEN MCRAE SANCHEZ!!!!!!


Re: Check out my Facebook profile

From: "Carmen McRae Sanchez" (raesancheztralala@yahoo.com)
To: "Margo Pressley" (ledoux67@aol.com)
CC: brianpressley14@aol.com
Date: Saturday, August 9, 2008 6:55 PM
Subject: Re: Check out my Facebook profile


lol ok wifey ill join, nuthin better 2do on a sat nite at the beach haha.

hay where R U guyz? wuz back in gburg earlier this week n stopped up since thats what u said 2 do if i wuz ever in th hood. called n no reply, drove out n place looked like u r on vaca. n when i called yr hubs cell got this weird "out of range" message.

r u in canada? maybe ill cruise on up n visit lol

NE way ill email him but if hes like he is when not on vaca wont hold my breath.

pretty cool nite in cape may. what m i doin indoors??????

talk soon and ill facebook ya. bet yr hub doesnt join in the fun. n tell yr girl HI from the punk rocker!

signed sincerely
rae sanchez the first!!!!!

Check out my Facebook profile

From: Margo Pressley
Subject: Check out my Facebook profile
To: "raesancheztralala" (raesancheztralala@yahoo.com)
Date: Thursday, August 7, 2008, 10:30 AM

facebook
Margo Pressley
Margo Pressley has:
3 friends
2 wall posts
2 groups

Check out my Facebook profile


I set up a Facebook profile where I can post my pictures, videos and events and I want to add you as a friend so you can see it. First, you need to join Facebook! Once you join, you can also create your own profile.

Thanks,
Margo


Re2: Argument

From: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com
Date: Friday, August 8, 2008 9:26 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Argument

God, someone must've noticed the butt pic, as Todd calls it, I got friended by some guy in New Orleans, he's a photographer. Fortunately I don't have to friend HIM, not going to.

What are you supposed to do on Facebook? Nothing really. Just update your status, join groups, waste time at work, lol.

Speaking of which, I was really bummin out that I was not working with Todd tonight, used to like our Friday nights together but lately dingdong has been scheduling me Thurs-Sat-Sun, which is ok, I get two big dinner nights and my Fridays free, but Todd works Mon-Wed-Fri-Sat nights so we don't get to work together except Sat night. Miss him since we kissed and made up and was sort of bummed about that, well I got in the car and drove out to the market to get a cappucino before they closed and Rita the clouds were AMAZING, just freaking unbelieveably cool. It wasn't FOG, but the clouds were literally hanging over the treetops and the fields, some places I drove by the clouds were suspended 20 yards or less above the ground, looked like they were coming up OUT of the ground.

So cool and of course I ran right home for my SRT, took two rolls of film, developed the negs and will scan them and send a few along later. IF I get to it before I run to see Todd, who will be done sometime between 10-11.

HA! He just called, Dingdong went home at 9:15 ("Did she say good night? No.") and he said come down to the resto if I want a shift meal. No, not hungry, lol, forget it. No actually I'll go down and see him and the girls and sit and have a glass of vino with them while they eat, clean up, fold napkins etc etc, then ride to his place with him.

So I'm off. You'll get those pics when you get them, lol. xoxoxoxo love you maura k!!

Re: Argument

From: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
To: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Date: Wednesday, August 6, 2008 10:32 AM
Subject: Re: Argument

"I want him but I want ME too." And what's wrong with that??? Nothing, but that's the big problem I ran into with Tony... feeling like I was expected to JUST want him and us and put ME aside. And sounds like what you're running into with Toddytodd: it's not that he doesn't want you to do what you want, it's that you THINK he doesn't want you to do what you want. RIght?

But also, face it Mauramodel: moving DOES suck and it puts you in this stressed overwhelmed frame of mind for weeks leading up to and days after, and especially DURING. And who can blame you for wanting to just GET AWAY from that???

I don't. So by extension, neither should he!

ANyhoo.... glad you talked and had a little roll in the hay once you finally got it out.

As for the other deeper stuff you were saying... I dunno if it "means" that you really don't want to be involved with him. I mean, how DO you feel now that he's closer with his kids and not "away" half the week? Didn't sound to me like you had any problem with it.

Sometimes honey, I mean I love you like a sister and all , but sometimes honey you just THINK TOO MUCH. As we all do. But trust your gut. You want to be with him, you be with him.... you want to back off, you back off. You love him, you tell him. This is what I hear you saying and doing and feeling. Why take it that extra step and think that if you're doing something, that it REALLY means that you feel deep down something ELSE that's not being expressed? What you REALLY want and REALLY need gets expressed in your actions, right??????

Not that you won't have doubts fears worries etc etc etc. I still do and I'm HAPPILY MARRIED WITH A BABY BOY!!!! And I AM happily married with a baby boy, happy to be a mom. But that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't want to drive far far far away from (on alternate days) Tonybaloney or Dannydan or both. So just because you're with someone you love doesn't mean that you're always going to have things perfect. But one thing you have going for you... ok, make that TWO things you have going for you. One is that you don't have any trouble backing off and speaking up and taking time for yourself when you need it. Two is that HE understands that you need that and doesn't hold it against you. (OK, just this weekend, but that was the exception to the rule. I think you two figured that one out.) I think we are both lucky that way.

I am actually here at the cafe, sucking down a grapefruit izze... worked from 6-10 this morning. Tonybaloney and Dannydan are walking over here; he's running a little late.

And there he is, so................ sayonara for now.

AWWWWWW... you should've seen it! Dannydan was sitting in his stroller looking through the window at me, waving.... big big big big big big smile. Now he is at the counter with Tony, looking over his shoulder... gotta go gotta go gotta go.

I am in love!!!

Talk later Mauramodel... working at the warehouse tomorrow PM fyi!

Love
Senorita! and in line ordering hot chocolate and a muffin, Tonybaloney and Dannydan

P.S. WHat should I do on facebook anyway??? And what do your mom-Todd-TODD'S KIDS think of your pic? That was the only thing I wondered. Aside from "God, she's bolder than I am, putting one of those pics up..." Made me want to change my picture to me in an anorak and sunglasses


Argument

From: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
Date: Tuesday, August 5, 2008 9:03 PM
Subject: Argument


Yeah it was really lousy and tiring, but at least we stayed up till we got it all out, made love really nice afterwards, but still Rita I just feel lately like I want to be to myself. He is working tonight and I could do what I did last night and go over there, watch the kids, be waiting naked in his bed when he gets home, but I don't feel like it, feel like keeping to myself.

And it's not that he doesn't want me to, he does and I can't get used to that, and then Saturday night was the one time that he wanted me there and I just felt like I needed to get away.

I think what he said is mainly right though, moving is hard and we didn't make it any easier did we? No.

Sigh.

Still feel guilty when I decide to take off on my own, I don't like that feeling.

Anyway not getting anything done tonight. Went down to the market for dinner late, around 6:30, Todd's friend who's name I still don't know, he's bald and a writer, anyway he was working with two college guys and they had Boston and Bruce Springsteen blasting loud on the radio. One of the kids spilled a big flat pack of blueberrys inside the door bringing them inside to the cooler. He started sweeping them up and I said NO NO STOP STOP! LET ME PICK THROUGH THOSE! Got about a pint of berries that were fine, they just had to be rinsed off. Also got penne salad and some St Andre cheese, really nice, soft and buttery. And a six of Harpoon Cider, and lightweight me, I had ONE and then cracked open a second KNOWING that it'd be too much and I'd be under the table, wouldn't finish it. And I was right, there it sits.

SIgh.

I am glad that Todd is no longer down in WRJ, I hated him having to make that drive every night, worried about him making the drive. Also always felt like when he stayed here it was a treat, something special. And now he just lives across town, it's almost too easy. He lives on the second floor of this place, Neil and Nikki's rooms are upstairs and so we have privacy if we want it.

I don't know. I can't figure me out. I want him but I want ME too. You know???

Anyway thanks for talking through all of this with me this afternoon, know you go to bed early when you work at the cafe Weds so don't want to call again. But typing it makes me see it clearer too.

I am kind of drunk and am going to bed. NOT going to drive over there. (Maybe!)

Later Senorita. xoxoxoxoxoxo love you maura k

Monday nite at Todd's, so peaceful here

From: "Maura Kelly" (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: "Rita Pressley LeDoux" (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
Date: Monday, August 4, 2008 8:37 PM
Subject: Monday nite at Todd's, so peaceful here

Wow Rita, did Todd hit the jackpot with this place. Renting the second floor of this house out on Worcester Rd, which is north of town off of Mansfield View Rd, which I know means nothing to you, lol. No it IS north of Stowe, I live WEST of town on Mountain Rd, on the money funnel as Todd calls it, and I like where I am but I live above a resto and also on the main road between Stowe and the resort, so there is TRAFFIC all the time. But his house is on a wooded lot, so I am right now sitting on the porch of his place, looking over the woods, totally quiet except for crickets and some birds calling back and forth. If you listen very closely you can hear very very distant traffic but it's nothing like what you hear at my place.

He is working tonight and Nikki and Neil are home, I am babysitting them so to speak although really I don't need to do anything, Nikki is reading a book and Neil is watching the Red Sox game. I think, at least that's what he SAID he was going to do.

Their dad will be home by 10:30 or so but by then they will be in bed. And even though we had that stupid fight Sat night I will prob wait in HIS bed for HIM to get home. Miss him and love him and feel pretty sure that it was just us being tired from the day, all the work and kind of taking it out on each other. He called yest to say he was sorry, I was still pissed at him and did not pick up, got the message last nite and called him, HE was pissed that I didn't pick up earlier, so we didn't see each other last nite, then this morning he calls and says "I guess you aren't going to come over and watch Nikki and Neil for me tonight are you?" And I said "Todd just because you piss me off doesn't mean I became an asshole, of course I'll be there."

And when I came the kids were both here and we didn't say much of anything, he hugged me and we bumped lips like a fighting married couple. And he went off to the resto.

Could text him and say I'm sorry or call him but want him to say it first, prob he wants me to say it to HIM first too. And it could go on a long time as you know, but what will prob happen is that he'll come into the place, the lights will be out, those two will be in bed and I will be waiting for him, he'll take off his clothes and slip into the covers and we'll get all close and warm and kiss and whichever one can say it first will say we're sorry (him lol) and that will get the ball rolling and then we'll have a nice makeup screw and it'll all be good.

I have thought a little bit about moving in here with him, there's plenty of room but I like my place, like my privacy, like my autonomy (is that the right word?). LIKE MY DARKROOM and like living on the rec path so I can walk bike rollerblade snowshoe xc ski etc into town. So prob not. But I HAVE thought about it.

And I am getting eaten alive by skeeters so I am going inside, gonna browse around on facebook, maybe recrop my profile pic so my WHOLE butt is showing, lol.

Know you're busy but call when you get a chance, I miss you! xoxoxoxoxo love you maura k