E-pistolary

This site is a continuation of my online novel-in-email, xo bri xoxo me xoxoxo love you christy. Call it a soap opera in email.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Gas money

From: Maura Kelly (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: Rita Pressley (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
Date: Sun, 30 Mar 2008 06:50:50 am EDT
Subject: Gas money

So funny, had to tell you this because I just thought of it in the little email I wrote mom. Martydad when I left mom's handed me fifty bucks and said "Here, this'll get you to Albany at least." Gas money. He does NOT have to do that and more than that it's more than Tom Stewart ever would or DID do for me. He's not even my real dad but he cares for me more than my real dad ever did.

Don't even know his email address but ought to write to HIM and tell him.

Or maybe, as mom says, "Here's an idea. Buy a stamp. Send a card." Maybe.

Anyway, talk later. xoxoxoxo love you maura k


Sunday

From: Maura Kelly (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: Mom (christyswims@yahoo.com)
Date: Sun, 30 Mar 2008 6:48:04 am EDT
Subject: Sunday

Hi mom, up early and just thinking about you, about Thursday night. I love you so much and so glad you were there with me when I had my CLOSE ENCOUNTER. Just had to tell you that.

That and I wish we'd done the kotex thing she would have DEFINITELY helped hold him down, and probably the kids would have each taken an arm too.

I will call later today (phone is FINALLY charged, car charger in the CAR, house charger in the HOUSE ).

Tell Maggie that sissy misses her and give Martydad a big hug, tell him thanks for the gas money, that is so sweet he does that.

Later mom! I love you! xoxoxoxoxoxo maura

Re: Where are you???

From: Maura Kelly (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
To: Rita Pressley (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
Date: Sun, 30 Mar 2008 06:38:29 am EDT
Subject: Re: Where are you???

I am fine, I am here, made it back. My phone battery died, it was low when I left mom's and I didn't have the home charger, so on the trip back it was low and finally ran down all the way but I ALSO didn't have the CAR charger, then when I got home could not find my HOME charger, just the car charger. Didn't want to plug the phone into my dash and maybe draw on the battery, so I held out and kept looking and finally found the home charger yesterday, it was in the film pack I take along with the hassleblad. Why THERE I have no idea. Probably I thought I was going to take that camera to PA with me and then changed my mind.

Anyway I had no phone yesterday and all last night, so this morning when I got up there were I think 15 messages. "Where are you, where are you, where are you, are you ok, are you all right, call me, call us" It's nice to know everyone cares and just amazing how when you're just incommunicado for just a day and a half, people get panicked.

I was going to call you from the resto last nite just to let you know I was ok, I called mom anyway, she was worried.

So I just texted you back: I'M FINE. CHECK EMAIL

I know we'll talk but I feel like writing about it so here goes. Thursday night we went out (Mom and Martydad and Maggie and me) to this restaurant up by 322, a nice place, great steaks and cozy atmosphere, but (part #1 of phone message you heard) the place where a couple winters ago when I was home on break and upset about Luke, I met that guy at the bar and got plowed on boilermakers and we went out to the parking lot and fucked in the bed of his pickup. Amazingly stupid awful drunken night that thank god led to no regrets, except for permanent pit marks on my back shoulders and ass from gravel NOT the kind of night that you want to remember. So of course we go into this resto and who is sitting at the end of the bar but Mr. Truckfuck. (Be right back, coffee is ice cold) (back, coffee is hot ) And as soon as we came in he saw ME and I could tell I looked familiar to him (intimately) and he kept looking over and I kept trying to become invisible, and of course thank god I am with mom and Martydad and Maggie, who are oblivious, so the chances of this guy coming up and saying "Hi, remember me???" are a LITTLE slim. Still I felt really weird and mom could tell, she said "What's wrong sweetie? Did you just spit up in your mouth?" lol I guess I had that look. And I said "I'll tell you then."

Well FORTUNATELY there was no wait for our table, so the hostess seats us and now comes part two. I look across the room and seated at a corner table with his wife and TWO KIDS is Coach Fry, the motherfucker who took the pool pics and diddled me on the bus back from districts in ninth grade. WITH WIFE AND KIDS. Fine upstanding citizen eh motherfucker??? Well as soon as I saw him I think actually I DID spit up in my mouth, could feel the blood rushing from my face and thank God mom was there, she said "I think we girls need to go powder our noses" (Maggie said "I can go powder MY nose too!") and we retreated to the safety of the bathroom (just me and mom, no Maggie) and when we got in there, I just felt like I could BREATHE and she gave me a big hug and said "What?" And I told her IN VERY VAGUE TERMS about Truckfuck, not saying "Well, mom, that guy at the bar and I did it in the back of his truck, blah blah blah" VERY VAGUE. And she said "Oh. I THOUGHT you maybe saw someone you recognized. So did you also see your old swim coach there?" And I said "You too?" And she said "Let's buy a kotex and go cram it down his throat You think his wife will hold him down?" She is so funny.

But I swear to god that she KNOWS something happened with me and him but she has NEVER asked and I came SO CLOSE to telling but really it would have been the wrong time, on a night out. She actually MAY have gone and tried to murder him had I told her. Anyway she said "As soon as we came in I saw him, I made sure the two of us had our backs to him so unless he looks over he won't see us. Are you ok?" And she hugged me again and I was crying a little, she wiped my cheek and then took out her compact and said "I didn't actually MEAN we were going to powder our noses" and she fixed my makeup.

I love her so much, so happy she was there when I saw him.

So it was just one of those nights when it didn't rain but it poured. And I did NOT want to go back out, was ready actually to crawl out the bathroom window but mom said "I'm here sweetie, don't worry" and we went back out, I didn't look over at him, but what I did was I picked up Maggie and took her back so I could powder HER nose, which she loved, then came back out, took my seat and within five minutes they were out the door, pretty sure he didn't see us and if he DID certainly did not approach us.

The motherfucker. I always wonder who else he did that to, he still coaches so I guess the question really is who else he is still DOING it to. With a girl high school aged and a boy probably in college.

What is WRONG with people?

What was wrong with ME for letting him? And then taking the pictures and posting them on the internet? You know though when I talked to the counselor at WVU she said about me posting the pictures that it sounded to her like I just was taking back control of them from him.

Problem with digital pics though is that he has copies. Boy would I love to see someone go through THAT hard drive.

FUnny how sick and raped and awful I felt when I saw him, but sitting there with mom reaching over and holding my hand I felt protected in a way I DEFINITELY didn't back then, and driving home thinking about it I was ANGRY, but then thought "You know, if he did that to me then, he might still be doing that to girls right now, and if so someone's gotta stop him." I don't know how you would go about it but I still have the pics and when I look at the properties of the ORIGINAL photo files, it's right there, the dates they were taken, which when you figure out my age, there it was, I was 15 when the shots at the pool were taken.

Felt so ballsy and daring and FUN and naughty when I was doing it, how did I know??

ANyway... that was what I was telling you on the choppy phone message. That I saw BOTH of them and it almost ruined the evening but didn't, mom was great, I love her, I feel like she knows more than she lets on but I don't feel like I need to tell her, but if I did it'd be all right. And at the point I called you I had kind of gotten out the anger and tears in the car and just needed to TELL someone.

And now my coffee's cold AGAIN.

And now I nuked it AGAIN along with a tollhouse (choco chip) muffin, except some of the chips stuck to the paper! THAT'S not fair!!!

So amazingly now it is 6:30, I have been sitting here typing for an hour and didn't tell you about Todd but need to save SOMETHING for our call.

Also the porn star he knows (not sure how well!) which I SWEAR I will tell you on the phone.

But this stuff I typed about was more important.

I love you Rita and was so glad I saw you and Danny. Wish I'd seen Tony too. Love all three of you and miss you and have to come down to Baltimore and JUST see you independent of a "family visit."

Talk later this morning, phone's working fine so dial and text away xoxoxoxoxoxo love you maura k

Where are you???

From: Rita Pressley (ritaritasenorita@yahoo.com)
To: Maura Kelly (mauraswimgrrrl@yahoo.com)
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 2008 7:48:20 pm EDT
Subject: Where are you???

Are you OK??? I didn't get all of your message from the road yesterday because your phone was cutting in and out, and then kept getting your voicemail even this morning.... is your phone running down?

Unfortunately the few phrases I heard loud and clear in your message didn't make me feel too great: "at the restaurant Thursday" and "that pig Coach Fry" and "fucked me in the back of his pickup" were the highlights.

I really want to find out what happened and talk to you about it... DON'T make me call you and disturb you when you're cozycozy with TODD

Just want to make sure that everything's ok.

Meanwhile,
who would've thought: we are fighting about watching sports on TV but not in the HE DOESN'T WANT TO SIT AND WATCH LIFETIME WITH ME way, ha-dee-haha.

~~ I ~~ want to watch the Orioles but Tonybaloney wants to watch hoops!

Compromise: TV sound low, Orioles game on the radio. Everyone wins.

Dannydan doesn't care. He is tuned into DZT: Donkey Zebra Truck TV.

The nice thing about having the Os game on the radio is that I can play with him and still hear what's going on. Daddy's playing with us too... he's not paying TOTAL attention to the tube but is facing the tv, so I know what's going on.

Last night we were talking and he said "You know, I really don't care about what game's on when Danny's up."

Kind of tired as you can probably tell.

Anyhoo... I know you're at work now. Call tomorrow (Sunday) AM. I'll try texting you too tonight.

Later!

Love
Rita

Re2: She's Here

Note: To read background material for this post, click here.

From:
Christine Kelly-Morone (christyswims@yahoo.com)
To: Margo Pressley (ledoux67@aol.com)
Subject: Re: She's here
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:41:49 -0700 (PDT)

Well, she is on the road now and back to vermont. She kept saying last night how she wanted to get up and leave when I went swimming, sure enough this morning she was up before I was (4:30) getting all her stuff together and out in the car. Went into Maggie's room and gave her a hug, told her goodbye and then came out with me to the driveway and said "You know, I was going to just hit the road but I think I want to go to the pool with you." So she rode to the Y with me, we did our laps, showered up, stopped for coffee and a danish on the way back, and she hit the road from there at around 6:45.

Says she should be back in plenty of time to take a nap before work (4 pm she has to be in).

We went to Eutaw House, up by the junction with 322, great evening except for two moments when Maura looked like she had seen a ghost. The first was when we came in, there was a guy seated at the bar who kept checking her out. "I'll tell you later mom" and when we went back to the bathroom she said "A couple years ago when I was at WVU I came home for break and that guy and I sat at the bar and he kept buying me boilermakers and well...." She didn't get too deep into it but having been a confused 20 something who frequented bars once myself, I could only guess what "and well" meant and I didn't press the issue. She didn't want to tell me more and so I didn't ask.

THen when the hostess seated us, the next ghost I KNEW why it bothered her, for the same reason it bothered me. Coach Fry, her old swim coach from when we lived up here, the skeeveball who I swear if I didn't know better was fooling around with Maura at age 14,15. The one who I moved us to Gettysburg to get away from (little realizing that I would soon meet Marty and move right BACK, except this time it was to Pleasant Gap and not in the same school district as before, and as mom would say thank God for my wisdom, lol). Sitting at a table with a wife and a son and a daughter both high school age. He did NOT see us I'm pretty sure and fortunately our backs were to him so not much chance of him spotting us. But I could tell Maura remembered him and was as skeeved as I was about seeing him. I just always wondered if "something inappropriate happened" (I guess the phrase "I swear if I didn't know better he was fooling around with Maura" is more than WONDERING, huh?) and really the feeling I got from Maura, like she'd just stepped in (or rolled in) something when she saw him (like I said, looked like she was about to get sick) kind of confirmed that, but as with the guy at the bar, I didn't press the issue. Just gave her a hug in the bathroom then held her hand at the table and I could tell that made her feel a little better.

It's hard to remember and sometimes I need to consciously remind myself that yeah, Maura is this great striking self-assured smart young woman who stands on her own feet so well, had it kind of hard (or at least upsetting) growing up and came through it and is "on the other side" in so many ways and has found happiness in her life, but that she has things in her past that she did, people she knew, probably a lot of relationships and flings, that she kept from me and that still probably trouble her.

Just would love to know what happened with her and that fucking skeeveball asshole prick son of a bitch Fry. I am CERTAIN he made advances at my daughter, used his authority to at least TRY to take advantage of her. How far he may have gotten is something only Maura knows. But back then if I had felt like it was something harmless that she knew how to get herself away from herself, I wouldn't have packed the van up and moved down there. As you know. Tom Stewart was the biggest part of that equation, but Fry was the other element so to speak.

At least she kicked his team's ass in the meets she swam against them in high school. Always swam her best races/times against that pricks teams. Not that it was his GIRLS' fault he was a pig.

And seeing him sitting there with a WIFE and two kids. Well maybe he reformed. That was over ten years ago, maybe therapy works. But if those kids are that age now, then back then they were around Becca's age.

Skeeveball. I know something happened, want to know what, but again if Maura doesn't want to say, I'm not going to press her. Unless you think I should, counselor. I know I know: you would say "Make it safe for her to open up and she will but don't press her." Which was why I just hugged her, held her hand at the table, let her know I was there.

Anyway we survived that, they were on their way out and when Maura saw that she lightened up. Shared a nice bottle of zin and that made us feel giddy, Maggie was laughing at us laughing (incredibly well behaved given the wait for our food, she always seems to be on her best behavior when sissy's home). Great steaks too, all in all a nice evening that overcame the shitty start and ended up a lot of fun.

Then when we got back home Maggie and Maura watched an episode of Mr. Bean off dvd and then Maura got her sister ready for bed, read her a couple stories and then lights out. And like I said, got up first thing this AM and went into Maggie's room and kissed her, told her she was leaving and Maggie rolled over and gave her a hug and said "Noooooooo." Then went back to sleep.

Maura said "She can come live with me mom, I don't mind." I like that she feels that way.

Maybe this summer, lol.

Now I can hear moving around up above so Maggie is up. I'm going to go nuke my coffee (I poured a fresh cup right when I came online and now it's cold) and go throw some darts at my coach Fry dartboard. The fucker, I'm just glad he didn't see us. Or worse APPROACH us. Yuck.

I like that face but find I must use it sparingly, lol, that way it retains its power.

OK. As I said 20 times on the phone yesterday, I'm glad we came down and met you, thank you for hosting dinner (the restaurant would have been fine but coming out to your house was even better), it was great seeing Rita, nice to have Brian grab my ass for old time's sake, lol, etc etc etc.

And one more thing before I forget: "what the 7734 is the dump?" lol. Did Maura even know what you meant? Do calculators even DO that anymore? I just tried mine, it does. I think that was one of the first things I learned to DO on a calculator, lol.

Anyway, later gator!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo love you christy

Re: She's here

To: christyswims@yahoo.com
From: ledoux67@aol.com
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:24:49 -0400
Subject: Re: She's here

Awwww, that's sweet, Christy, and sweet like you said that you cried when you saw her. That makes me happy for you.

I GOT A SWEATER AND A COUPLE SHIRTS FOR BECCA AT THE DUMP!!!!! The afternoon that we went to the little sandwich place in town and I had the awesome bowl of chili (probably the meatiest chili I have EVER had anywhere)... we were talking about Maura's darkroom and how much a setup like that cost (and sidenote: would you PLEASE find out from her how much the PAPER cost for all those prints she sent us? I know it had to be expensive and I want to send her a check. I know she'll probably say NO and if it was just a handful of prints, I'd be like "Fine. OK. You win." But she sent us ONE HUNDRED SIX PRINTS, Christy... a couple of them 10x16, a LOT of them (like half) 8x10s... that CAN'T be cheap and I want to give her SOME money to reimburse her. You're the mom... WORK on her, lmaaaao) (now... where was I?) (Hold on a sec) (Brian is playing Duke Ellington WAY TOO LOUD in the music room and I needed to shut at least ONE door between there and here so I could hear myself effin THINK) (NOW... where was I?) (OK, we were talking about Maura's darkroom and how much a setup like that cost, lmaaao) and she said "Well, I bought a lot of this stuff used in Morgantown, and then the shelves and the table I got at the dump" and I said "At the DUMP??? What the 7734 is the DUMP?" And she explained it the same way she did to you: that it's the recycling center for the town, "kind of like a thrift shop where you don't have to pay. You wanna stop there?" Well, of COURSE I did... I couldn't resist digging around at a place called THE DUMP lmaaao.

And get this: the place is on DUMP ROAD!!!!!

Anyway it's just two sheds inside a chain link fence, and one side of it is where you drop off your recycling and the other side is the thrift shop side... just a few shelves and a table and big boxes of clothes and appliances and all other stuff. You bring in what you want to get rid of, and you take what you need. "Karma in action" as Maura said.

Anyway we dug through the one box and there was a really really nice snowflake sweater there... acrylic but still... plus a couple t-shirts that Becca liked. (Brian struck out) So we took them back to Maura's and washed them (did woolite with the sweater. Maura was out of acrylite, lmaaao) and those pics you see of me on my skis on the mou'en the next apres noon? That is the sweater from the dump.

And when I wore it to work that following Monday (had to wash it again because it got ALL sweaty when I skied), I told all the girls "Guess where I got THIS? At the DUMP" lmaaao

Anyway... that's my dump story. I'll scan and send the pic Maura took of me standing by the DUMP ROAD sign.

Maura DOES look great, doesn't she? I did NOT say she lost weight unhealthily and it's also like I told her, it's not like she was FAT before. It's mainly like you said that she just looks HAPPY and relaxed. Brian and I had a discussion about this the first night. "She's just like her mom... she looks great without any makeup." And I said "Brian, she's not not wearing makeup." "She didn't have any makeup on!" "Yes, she did, Bri... she just knows how to apply it without looking like a ghoul or a ninth grader. Look closely." He still has not gotten used to the idea that those of us who "look great without makeup" are the ones who know how to use the stuff.

Except me, who just glows au naturel, lmaaao.

I'd write more but we already talked about most of it and besides, Becca needs to get on her homework. If she gets on it NOW she will be done by 7, and then we can ALL relax.

Call later, woman. Hope you had a nice afternoon... I'm happy for you. NOW GET THAT PRICING lmaaao. xoxoxoxoxoxo me!!


She's here

From: Christine Kelly-Morone (christyswims@yahoo.com)
To: Margo Pressley (ledoux67@aol.com)
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2008 1:36:13 pm EDT
Subject: She's here

Yeah, as I think I MAY have mentioned on the phone, lol, Maura is here. SO happy to see her, so happy she decided to do a surprise visit. I always say "come home anytime you want" and I'm glad she did.

Feels so good to have both my girls here. They are out now, Maura took Maggie out for lunch at the bakery so I'd have some time alone, then when they get back it will be Maggie's nap time and Maura and I will have some girl time together.

She called late on Sun night and asked if we were doing anything or going anyplace the next few days, I said "No, why?" Thinking maybe she wanted US to come up THERE, which I'm still not sure how or when we'll do. But she had some wiggle room financially and didn't have to work again till Fri night and said she misses us and wanted to come down if it wasn't too short notice. As if. All I had to do was clean all the junk out of her room, lol, you know what that room looks like and it sounds like it would be a project but it's not like she's coming up on the spur of the moment from Harrisburg. When she calls and says "I'm leaving now" I know I've got a good 8-9 hours to get my act together. To find trash bags and a dumpster, lol.

ANyway she hit the road first thing yest am and got here a little before supper last night.

Didn't tell Maggie her sister was coming before she got here, just told her we had a surprise for her. "Another easter basket?" lol. "An elephant?" Which Maura brought her BOTH of, a really beautiful easter basket (she told Maggie that the easter bunny left it in Vermont and told Maura to bring it to her sister) and a cute little top with an elephant on the front. "I found it at the dump" lol. She had to explain to me what "the dump" is, I told her I was picturing a city dump and Maura said "Yeah, that's pretty much it" lol. She said it's like a thrift shop but instead of things being cheap, they're just FREE. Said she found a toaster oven and cheap shelves for the darkroom and a clock radio and a set of wineglasses there, and also she drops stuff off all the time. "So it's like freecycle?" "Yeah." Ok, so why do they call it a dump lol. Must be some Vermont thing.

She looks so great, you're right, she's lost a lot of weight, when you said that I was thinking "Oh my god, she's not eating right, she's emaciated" but she looks so HEALTHY. Love that she is letting her hair grow out, she has always had such luxurious hair. You're right, she looks very relaxed and happy.

We went swimming together today and even though she says she doesn't swim regularly (she belongs to a pool up there but says she only goes once or twice a week) she still kicked my ass a couple times that we raced. That's ok, she's my daughter.

Then we went for coffee and talked for a while, talked about your visit and Todd and all the stuff she's doing up there.

SO nice to have her here.

I hear her out front, she is beeping the horn or Maggie is, or it's the mailman having a seizure, lol. Anyway I'm going to hit send.

Feeling happy and having a good day, I hope you are too. Talk later! xoxoxoxoxo love you christy